Every now and then, while flipping channels at random, browsing used CDs or plowing through my absurdly long Netflix queue, I'll stumble across a pop culture epiphany. The first time I heard Blue Oyster Cult's "Godzilla" was one. Another was when I finally caught on to Arrested Development during its final season. Things that make me stop and wonder, "Where has this been all my life?"
This happened most recently when I discovered the Shaw Brothers' movie Supra-Inframan a few months ago. As a Hong Kong riff on Ultraman it's hardly an original concept, but it has a vivd imagination all its own. 
Motorcycle chases! Skeleton warriors! Super science vs. alien magic! Witchy women in metal cone bras! A whip-cracking villainess called Princess Dragon
Mom! Fire-breathing laser-shooting Rubbersuit monster kung fu fight scenes! It was like watching all the happy hours I spent watching monster movies and chop sockey flicks smashed into a single ninety minute ball of awesome.
I'm sure the main monsters from Super Inframan would fit in well with a lot of gonzo SF or science fantasy games -- Gamma World or Mutant Future, an especially wacky Rifts campaign, maybe even Robotech? But I knew from the moment I saw the movie I'd have to stat them up for the land of Vanth. It's only fitting -- I had the same kind of epiphany for Encounter Critical.
After the cut, Ice Monsters come out!
Monster # ATT ATT % Dam HP Save Edible $ Value Fire Dragon 2 54% 2-8 12-48 28% 76% 188 Iron Armorbots 3 77% 1-6/2-7/
1-101-10 59% -- 120 Long-Hair Devil 1 73% 2-16 12-30 38% 84% 80 Mutant Drill 2 66% 2-12/1-20 33-60 70% 6% 160 Plant Monster 2 45% 2-8 21-40 44% 50% 190 Spider Demon 4 86% 1-6 22-60 48% 27% 210 Witch-Eye 1 25% 1-3 8-32 25% 15% 66
Appearance & Special Powers:
Fire Dragon: A tall humanoid in dragonhide armor and horned crown, Fire Dragon attacks with kung fu and breathes fire (every other round, D 2-20, range 30'). He also can use true Invisibility with 97% chances. His armor is equal to Elf Silver Chain but provides a 100% Saving Throw against fire and heat.
Iron Armorbots: A pair of black iron robodroids, each has a tall beaked helm and a spiked morning star in place of one fist. The fist and helm can be shot forth on a long chain up to 30 feet with 55% ranged attack chances and retracted the next round. The fist strikes as a standard morning star. The helm does D 1-10 and can clamp around an arm or leg on a to hit roll of 36% or less (sneak ATT). They melt when destroyed.
Long-Hair Devil: A cackling shaggy creature with long red horns and the face of its last victim staring from its wide open fanged mouth. It is a weak melee fighter (D 1-4/1-4) but shoots double laser beams from its horns for D 2-16. It explodes if immersed in boiling water.
Mutant Drill: A lumpy rock-like creature with a drill hand and a wrench-like claw. It burrows at its full movement rate.
Plant Monster: One of the most versatile ice demons, Plant Monster is a twisted mutant with vines growing from its head and in place of arms. It can plant itself in the ground and grow into an enormous vine with 100-400 hp and up to eight attacks for D 2-20 each. If it takes 50 hp damage in one round it will be forced to its human sized form. In this form it attacks only twice but can teletransport itself and spit flaming acid (D 5-30, once per day).
Spider Demon: A orange-red spider with three jeweled green eyes. It attacks with a whirlwind of kung fu strikes, and can spit web grenades which capture one enemy in a spherical web. Every three rounds it can also breathe flaming webs for D 2-16. Once per day it can grow into a giant form with 100-400 hp which attacks for D 6-36; large amounts of electrical damage will force Spider Demon back to its normal size.
Witch-Eye: An attractive female with platform boots and long clawed fingers. She has the powers of a level 5 Psi-Witch (ESP & LEA 14). Her Double Secret Eyes, one in the palm of each hand, give her +10% to mentally Command others. If forced into melee she strikes with an electro-stilleto (as dagger + D 1-8 spark)
SEE ALSO: Princess Dragon Mom summons the Ice Monsters (and some goobers giggle along)!
SEE ALSO: The entire movie is up on Youtube -- undubbed, with fake subtitles in Spanish -- starting here.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Ice Monsters of Vanth: EC meets Supra-Inframan
Friday, August 29, 2008
Alas, Poor Wiskbat
The Wilderlands OD&D PbP I've been playing came to an abrupt end this week. While I'm disappointed, the DM's reasons for shutting down the game are entirely unassailable. If he starts the game anew I'll sign up but quick.
In the meantime, here's my first ever OD&D character, Wiskbat Tinker, half goat-footed Irish Clurichaun, half itinerant peddler out of Sholem Aleichem. Not sure where I got the idea to mix in Yiddish slang and proverbs with his dialog, but it sure made him fun to play.
Wiskbat is about 4 1/2 feet tall, with a wild mane of hair and bristly sideburns held down by a grubby cloth hat. A pair of hobnail boots conceal his hooves. His grin is usually brown with tobacco juice; he carries a pipe but always seems to misplace his tapers, so he just chews the leaf. His personal habits are slovenly and his gear generally poorly kept, though his blades are sharp. His fellow elves oft said of him, pinching their noses, "There's an apt rhyme for young Tinker, and it sure ain't thinker."
He holds to no gods, but is not uncommon found on his knees in the gutter after after a night's debauch. Whether this can be called a form of prayer is disputable.
MP3: Klezmatics, Mizmor Shir Lehanef (Compact Disc - Download)
AKA "Reefer Song." I feel certain Wiskbat would approve.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wandering Upchuck Table
Or, What Happens If You Eat the Tainted Meat?
A chart used in my Encounter Critical Play-by-Post game, God City Sandbox.
3d6
3. Mutation, permanent. Use EC chart or variant
4. Madness, permanent. Roll on EC Psychic & Magic Diseases/Curses chart
5. Dreadful daymares. Incapacitated and raving for 2-8 rounds
6. Mutation, temporary. 24 hours less ADA score
7. Madness, temporary. As AD&D confusion spell for 1-6 rounds
8. Skin turns random color. Roll d8 on ROYGBIVX. X=roll twice and combine. Lasts 20 days less ADA score
9. Hallucinatory projections. Stars, birds, skulls, punctuation marks, etc appear to orbit victims head for 2-8 rounds. Vigorous head shaking or a slap in the face will dispel.
10. Tummy ache. No further effect.
11. Allergic reaction. 1. Hives 2. Rash 3. Sweating 4. Narcolepsy 5. Chilblains 6. Double vision 7. Giggling 8. Boogie fever
12. Convulsive heaves. 1 hp damage, saving throw to avoid fainting
13. Debilitating hiccups. -5% to all ability chances for 1-6 hours. Creative hiccup remedies may cure at JM's discretion
14. Severe halitosis, 5' radius. 10% penalty to all LEA abilities for 2-12 hours. Basic dental hygiene counters this effect
15. Sudden growth of chest hair. Permanent, subject to depilatories. Roll basic ADA roll for chance of 1-6% addition to Consume Alien Food chances
16. Insane, ravenous hunger for favorite food. Acquiring it becomes the victim's monomaniacal passion, overriding all other concerns
17. Projectile barf. Literally; roll 3-30 on ranged weapon chart to determine range and damage. Roll ADA x2 on % or fire uncontrollably. D4 ammo, must be used up within a day.
18. Upchuck of Luck or Suck. Roll on AD&D Wand of Wonder chart
MP3: Jack Walrath - Meat! (Out of Print - Hella expensive used compact Disc)
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Gaming out the Earholes
Been a little quiet this month at Malevolent & Benign. Can't help but feel a little guilty (how vain, right?) but I guess that's what RSS feeds are for.
Truth is, my muse has deserted me. She was all like "You don't appreciate me" and I was all "Is this about that thing with Calliope? We were drunk, and nothing happened" and she was all, "Well Melpomene has a different story" and I was all like "I need to work on my writing" and she was "Oooh, your writing? You mean your blog? The Diary of a Mad Geekboy?" and I was "I can't believe you said that" and she was "Damn right I said it. You think you're Gary damn Gygax or something?" and I was "I need my space" and then she totally went off on me in Greek and moved out to stay with her sisters.
Well, no, nothing like that really. Just too busy with gaming stuff to write much about gaming stuff:
- Playing in a semi-biweekly 3.whatever cum Pathfinder game (character: Runt, obese half-orc wizard with a 5 Strength). Fun, if a bit loosey goosey, but...
- ...the DM just invited me to his main group, playing a 1st through 3rd edition hybrid, starting this weekend. I'm pretty excited about that.
- In addition, I'm in the excellent PbP game Scott/Driver's been writing about at Wilderlands OD&D (character: Wiskbat Tinker, stinky goat-footed elf)
- And just today I took over an Encounter Critical PbP we've been trying to start up. The Journey Master has been incommunicado for a week, so I did as Thrazar would, seizing the game by the lapels and lashing myself to the reins. Into the great blue yonder, wahooo!
...and you know what? It's awesome. I feel like a real live gamer.
P.S. I just won a copy of Arduin Grimoire #1 this afternoon, literally (and by literally I don't mean figuratively) in the last 10 seconds of the auction! Rawk!
Friday, August 15, 2008
A Useless Post
Blogging on a Friday afternoon is pretty useless, especially the weekend of GenCon. But hey nonny nonny and what the hell. Storyteller of Beneath the Screen posted notes on a not-quite-cursed magical garment, the Robe of Useless Items. Cursed magical treasures seem to have faded from the official versions of D&D in the last couple editions, and that's a shame. Pranking players with tricky magical items is a great way to mess with their expectations. So I salute the spirit of Storyteller's post.
He asked for suggestions for a Greater Robe of Useless Items, and I'm happy to oblige:
Bottomless Inkpot and Stylus, filled, naturally, with invisible ink and requiring some unreasonably rare, costly and/or dangerous substance to reveal the writing.
Bronze Dog: When commanded to Sit, this bronze statuette animates into an enormous mastiff. The dog is untrained, and gentle as a kitten. Any efforts at training the creature as a mount or war dog will be doomed as it reverts to bronze each evening and forgets all it learned. It can be taught basic tricks like rolling over, begging or shaking hands -- but not fetch.
Nesting-Box of Holding: A simple metal coffer which is entirely filled up by a slightly smaller Box of Holding, which contains a still smaller Box, and so forth. Each box collapses with a loud clatter on removal of the box within.
Strumpet Trumpet: When sounded, this serpentine horn plays a lewd wah-wah ditty, summoning 2-5 ladies of ill repute (or hustlers of unwholesome habit, as you like it) who will loudly proposition all and sundry, insulting those who refuse their advances (and rolling those who yield to them for all the coin they have). Repeated soundings of the horn or any assault on the strumpets summons their pander, a fearsome efreet.
Xeno's Rope, a coil of sturdy rope capable of extending to just short of whatever length is needed.
Now We're Feeling Zombified
Another excerpt from my Encounter Critical project, Gods From Outer Space, which matches handily with Jonathan of The Core Mechanic's RPG Blog Carnival. For those wandering by who might be unfamiliar, you can find a review of the gonzo gamer's wonderland that is Encounter Critical here. Visit the game's webpage here to download the game for nil, nada, zip, zilch, zero -- that's free, dig?
Zombies of Vanth
One of the least understood races of Vanth is the zombie. Symbiotic spores from space? A black magic curse spreading across the land? Cannibal spirits in human form? Or merely victims of a severe life deficiency? The answer is unknown -- as is often the case on the planet Vanth, seekers after the truth are advised to hedge their bets and mark their answer sheet 'all of the above.'
Despite common myth, it is known that they are not undead like vampires and mummies, since strictly speaking true zombies are never alive in the first place. Their curious biology has so far been impenetrable to scientific inquiry. They do not breathe and have no pulse yet they require sustenance and are as vulnerable to magic and disease as other humanoids. They breed true among their own colonies, but have been known to mate with all of the common races of Vanth.
Most Zombies dwell in the Holdings of their Unnamed Princess, who is said to be an ancient yet ageless Warlock. Her appetites at the banquet table and in the boudoir are legendary and strange. Her Holdings are notably rich, and caravans happily brave the Goblin Hills and the Empire of Darth Viraxis to trade with the zombies. Despite the fortunes to be made in the Princess's lands, the prudent merchant is never without a steel skullcap to discourage the wilder and more ravenous of her subjects.
Known as the Burial Playground of the Eastern Shore, the green and rolling coast of the Zombie Holdings is a vast cemetery. The hillsides are kept in perfect order, a tidy necropolis of stones and monuments from every faith and kindred stretching for fifty miles or more. Folks from every corner of Vanth come here to enjoy the beaches and bury their dead.
Zombie Player Characters
Ability adjustments: -1 DEX, -2 LEA, +1 ROB, +1 STR.
In addition a zombie gains +30% to Consume Alien Food, +15% to Survival, and +5% to Psi-Resist. All true zombies have the mutation Cannibal Urges; zombie hybrids have a 50% chance of this mutation. How assiduously they resist their hunger is up to the individual but it's worth mentioning that zombies must consume raw living flesh to properly balance their diets.
In some cases a non-zombie character may be resurrected as a zombie hybrid. For instance, a character with the Zombie Gene mutation will rise as a zombie hybrid if he or she is reduced to 0 Hit Points and survives. More rarely, a zombie rebirth might occur due to curse, affliction or necromantic locales. In these circumstances the JM might require the PC to adventure for a time as a simple living dead (HP 1-12, DAM 1-4, Save 10%, low Intellect) before achieving full zombiehood.
MP3: Oingo Boingo, Dead Man's Party [Party 'til You're Dead Mix] (Compact Disc - Download)
MP3: Green Monster, Zombie Party Rock (Myspace)
Monday, August 11, 2008
Fight On Outtake: Omeneiros Goblins
I considered writing this up for the short article I wrote for Fight On #2, but it's so strongly influenced by Julian May's Saga of Pliocene Exile that I didn't feel right publishing it under my own name. Nonetheless, what with all the goblin talk recently from Noisms and Ripper X, I thought I'd type up a variation of my own.
Omeneiros Goblins
Though they are no stronger on average than ordinary goblins, omeneiros clans are usually found much deeper in the underworld than their kin. Hobgoblins shun them and even bugbears give them wide berth. Though they can be fierce fighters, omeneiros goblins defend their warrens mainly through cunning, craft and illusion. Shifting walls, strangely angled rooms and tricks of perspective distort distance and scale in their maze like lairs. A dwarf's knowledge of stonework is of use only 1 chance in 6 in these surroundings, and an elf is no better than the other races at detecting an omeneiros secret door.
Even more deadly to those who confront them is the omeneiros goblins' innate skill with illusion and fear magic. Intruders in the goblins' warrens must save vs. spells once per hour or be subject to disturbing waking nightmares -- half-seen visions and whispering voices which cause penalties to hit, damage and morale (as a curse spell). Furthermore, a group of seven or more omeneiros goblins radiates a panicking aura akin to a confusion spell: each round their foes must save or (2d6) 2-5 flee for one round; 6-8 do nothing, cowering in fear; or 9-12 attack the nearest creature, whether friend or foe.
Omeneiros goblin clans are organized along lines similar to their lesser kindred, with stronger subchiefs and guards according to their numbers. Larger groups are led by chieftains or clanmothers who cast spells as magic-users of up to 7th level in ability. Chieftains, clanmothers and the strongest warriors will be Fevercloaks, who go to battle girded with horrific illusionary bodies. Each takes on a unique visage -- serpentine spiders, huge jewelled scorpions, flayed ogres and grotesquely mutated goblin forms have all been observed. Fevercloaks attack as 3-6 HD monsters, doing damage by weapon type, though to all appearances they attack with the claws, fangs or stingers of their chosen form.
Those who behold a Fevercloak in its nightmare form must save vs. spells or be stricken with fear. Creatures under 2 HD will flee for 2-8 rounds, and be shaken even on a successful save, taking a -1 penalty to attacks and damage; those of more than 2 HD will be shaken only on a failed save (cumulative with the waking nightmare effect described above). If a Fevercloak hits with a natural 20 its foe must save vs. death magic or collapse in terrified paralysis, apparently dead as far as the victim's companions can tell.
When slain a Fevercloak reverts to its normal goblin form. In addition, they appear in their normal forms when viewed in a mirror. This may give a smart party the idea of attempting disbelief if confronted by another of its ilk. While the illusionary form will persist, disbelief will allow an additional save against the Fevercloak's fear effects.
Yagatz Moon-Eyes, sample Fevercloak: AC 5 (chainmail), HD 4, hp 24, MV 60' (20'), #AT 2, D 1-6/1-6 (2 short swords), Save M-U 4, ML 9.
In Cloaked form Moon-Eyes is a spindly horror, a shriveled goblin torso crawling on elongated spiderlike legs and arms. A drooling toothless mouth mumbles obscene limericks as he scuttles into battle. Huge cloudy eyes stare from a shrunken and malformed skull, and a pair of slashing chitinous mandibles thrust forth from enormously distended nostrils.
MP3: Leviathan, Vexed & Vomit-Hexed (Compact Disc, search "Tentacles of Whorror" - Download)
"Fear steals a voice / The price paid for dreaming / This is the cloud that lumbers across vision / A canopy of paranoia threatening light at its sting / Visions of existence appear and recede".
