Monday, March 17, 2008

Rhymes with Myopic

Raps about what it might be like to have eye problems:

readin eye chart flows and stoppin hearts cold
like king midas's hex
all I see turns to gold
I'm Optometrist Rex, I vex
the opposition collapses when I move the masses
shakin asses and makin passes at all the girls who wear glasses

like Tiresias I'm epic, prophetic, cut you to pieces
I'll pull your leg over your eyes, it's catachresis,
peep this: I'm metamorphosin',
leave you cry-iyi-yin'
like Roy Orbison, don't get morbid, son
you'll get done: I spit wicked braille
but y'all frail, you fail
to impress, I'm the pinball wizard
you're the least of the less,
you're a rhyme shirker, I'm the Miracle Worker
teachin Helen Keller to talk to Teller
while you fallin through the cellar into Hell, sir
allow me to introduce myself I'm the man without fear,
you get speared, your head sheared loose
I'm ruthless
you're toothless
meanwhile I'm playin truth or dare with the devil

my vision shimmers, my rage simmers
my eyes twitch, still I flip the switch
now your future's gettin dimmer
I'm burning pitch, invisible witch,
fantastitch plastitch elastitch,
which means I stretch slimmer
you wanna start a thing?
Fuck you, I'm Ben Grimmer

I got astigmatism like protestants got schism
corneas harder than hardknocks shootin up blocks with glocks
bullets fall in cataracts, gunsmoke clouding my iris,
counteract attacks with the third eye of osiris...
even blinded with glaucomas I leave my foes in comas

myopic optics can't stop this
can't knock me down I'm gyroscopic
I roll thick and rock headknots
ancient like Coptic break you open like lockpicks
twist you up in double helix like Watson & Crick
turn your life inside out like endoscopic bio pics
clock tick tick tock ticks to six-six-six
your own personal End Times' now, apocalyptic

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