Now, when you least expect it, Tirapheg Week!

Fittingly enough given the non-sequential progress of tirapheg week, a being from beyond space and time! Statted up for Labyrinth Lord, with a dash of the epic pseudonatural template from 3rd Edition D&D. Previous installments of tirapheg week are here.

Triskelion

Alignment: Neutral
Move: 90' (30')
Armor Class: 6 (2)
Hit Dice: 13 (78 hp)
Attacks: 3 (or 6)
Damage: 3-6 each
Save: M-U 13 (+4 vs. Spells and Wands)
Hoard Class: XVII

Triskelion is a wizard-scientist of unknown origin. It travels the astral in a demi-planar orb several hundred feet in diameter, just large enough to contain its manse and laboratory. Though it is not exactly evil, its philosophy and ethos is utterly alien, and it values other life forms only as subjects for study. It collects all manner of creatures for examination, often suspending them in temporal stasis and creating clones as needed for dissection and magical experiment.

Although humanoid Triskelion's appearance is bizarre, with three heads, three arms, and three legs. Its heads are featureless, save for a ring of faceted eyes encircling the central head. Its arms are thin and double-jointed, ending in long, bony fingers; the two arms at the shoulders are fully mobile to the creature's front and rear alike. The outer legs end in rounded stumps, leaving Triskelion to balance on the three splayed toes of its central leg.

Strange though Triskelion's typical form may be, its true extra-dimensional form is far more terrible. When threatened its eyes shine with sickly light and its arms and fingers seem to bifurcate, splitting like bony branches. Its body seems to grow and shrink, stretching and receding into the distance or looming till it appears only inches away; this disorienting effect gives it an effective AC of 2. Worst of all, a huge circular maw gapes open in the creature's belly, revealing a black and starry void. On the round of its transformation, all those who gaze into this void must save against spells or be feebleminded.

Though Triskelion can attack with its bony claws up to 6 times per round in its true form, it casts spells as an 18th level magic-user so it is unlikely to melee unless hard pressed. Its spellbooks include several unique incantations, two of which are detailed below. In addition it can use ESP and comprehend languages at will and once per day an improved form of mirror image which creates from 2-8 images, each of which takes 8 hp of damage before being dispelled.

Crawling Wall
Level: 6
Duration: 12 turns
Range: 120'

This spell summons a wall of bubbling primal chaos into being, a writhing protoplasmic mass that takes a shape of the caster's choosing to a maximum of 1,000 cubic feet. The wall may not be conjured to appear in space already occupied by other objects, and it must initially rest on a solid surface. However it can be directed by the caster to move at a rate of 60' per round and to change its dimensions as needed as long as they do not exceed the maximum.

The wall will lash out at any creature within 10' of it -- including the caster -- doing 2-12 hp of damage. Each 10 cubic feet of the wall is equal to a gelatinous cube for the purposes of attacks against it (i.e. AC 8, 4 HD, immune to cold & lightning, ability to engulf foes).

Triphage Hex
Level: 8
Duration: Permanent
Range: 120'

Casting this spell sends three miniature black holes hurtling toward the target, sucking at flesh and soul alike. On a successful save the target takes 8d6 damage. On a failed save the victim is torn to pieces by the gravo-magical maelstrom, his or her remains scattered in the astral plane. There is a 1% chance per character level or HD that the victim's soul survives intact; otherwise it is sundered and lost forever.

MP3: Sun Ra, And Otherness (Compact Disc - Download [beware: emusic has the track names for this album mislabled])

Ice Monsters of Vanth: EC meets Supra-Inframan

Every now and then, while flipping channels at random, browsing used CDs or plowing through my absurdly long Netflix queue, I'll stumble across a pop culture epiphany. The first time I heard Blue Oyster Cult's "Godzilla" was one. Another was when I finally caught on to Arrested Development during its final season. Moments that make me stop and wonder, "Where has this been all my life?"


This happened most recently when I discovered the Shaw Brothers' movie Supra-Inframan a few months ago. As a Hong Kong riff on Ultraman it's hardly an original concept, but it has a vivd imagination all its own.
Motorcycle chases! Skeleton warriors! Super science vs. alien magic! Witchy women in metal cone bras! A whip-cracking villainess called Princess Dragon
Mom! Fire-breathing laser-shooting Rubbersuit-monster kung fu fight scenes! It was like watching the uncounted happy hours of my youth spent watching monster movies and chop sockey flicks smashed into a single ninety minute ball of awesome.

I'm sure the main monsters from Super Inframan would fit in well with a lot of gonzo SF or science fantasy games -- Gamma World or Mutant Future, an especially wacky Rifts campaign, maybe even Robotech? But I knew from the moment I saw the movie I'd have to stat them up for the land of Vanth. It's only fitting -- I had the same kind of epiphany for Encounter Critical.

After the cut, Ice Monsters come out!

Monster	# ATT	ATT %	Dam	HP	Save	Edible	$ Value
Fire Dragon	2	54%	2-8	12-48	28%	76%	188
Iron Armorbots	3	77%	1-6/2-7/ 1-10	13-52	59%	--	120
Long-Hair Devil	1	73%	2-16	12-30	38%	84%	80
Mutant Drill	2	66%	2-12/1-20	33-60	70%	6%	160
Plant Monster	2	45%	2-8	21-40	44%	50%	190
Spider Demon	4	86%	1-6	22-60	48%	27%	210
Witch-Eye	1	25%	1-3	8-32	25%	15%	66

Appearance & Special Powers:

Fire Dragon: A tall humanoid in dragonhide armor and horned crown, Fire Dragon attacks with kung fu and breathes fire (every other round, D 2-20, range 30'). He also can use true Invisibility with 97% chances. His armor is equal to Elf Silver Chain but provides a 100% Saving Throw against fire and heat.
Iron Armorbots: A pair of black iron robodroids, each has a tall beaked helm and a spiked morning star in place of one fist. The fist and helm can be shot forth on a long chain up to 30 feet with 55% ranged attack chances and retracted the next round. The fist strikes as a standard morning star. The helm does D 1-10 and can clamp around an arm or leg on a to hit roll of 36% or less (sneak ATT). They melt when destroyed.
Long-Hair Devil: A cackling shaggy creature with long red horns and the face of its last victim staring from its wide open fanged mouth. It is a weak melee fighter (D 1-4/1-4) but shoots double laser beams from its horns for D 2-16. It explodes if immersed in boiling water.
Mutant Drill: A lumpy rock creature with a drill hand and a wrench-like claw. It burrows at its full movement rate.
Plant Monster: One of the most versatile ice demons, Plant Monster is a twisted mutant with vines growing from its head and in place of arms. It can plant itself in the ground and grow into an enormous vine with 100-400 hp and up to eight attacks for D 2-20 each. If it takes 50 hp damage in one round it will be forced to its human sized form. In this form it attacks only twice but can teletransport itself and spit flaming acid (D 5-30, once per day).
Spider Demon: A orange-red spider with three jeweled green eyes. It attacks with a whirlwind of kung fu strikes, and can spit web grenades which capture one enemy in a spherical web. Every three rounds it can also breathe flaming webs for D 2-16. Once per day it can grow into a giant form with 100-400 hp which attacks for D 6-36; large amounts of electrical damage will force Spider Demon back to its normal size.
Witch-Eye: An attractive female with platform boots and long clawed fingers. She has the powers of a level 5 Psi-Witch (ESP & LEA 14). Her Double Secret Eyes, one in the palm of each hand, give her +10% to mentally Command others. If forced into melee she strikes with an electro-stilleto (as dagger + D 1-8 spark)


SEE ALSO: Princess Dragon Mom summons the Ice Monsters (and some goobers giggle along)!
SEE ALSO: The entire movie is up on Youtube -- undubbed, with fake subtitles in Spanish -- starting here.

Fight On Outtake: Omeneiros Goblins

I considered writing this up for the short article I wrote for Fight On #2, but it's so strongly influenced by Julian May's Saga of Pliocene Exile that I didn't feel right publishing it under my own name. Nonetheless, what with all the goblin talk recently from Noisms and Ripper X, I thought I'd type up a variation of my own.

Omeneiros Goblins

Though they are no stronger on average than ordinary goblins, omeneiros clans are usually found much deeper in the underworld than their kin. Hobgoblins shun them and even bugbears give them wide berth. Though they can be fierce fighters, omeneiros goblins defend their warrens mainly through cunning, craft and illusion. Shifting walls, strangely angled rooms and tricks of perspective distort distance and scale in their maze like lairs. A dwarf's knowledge of stonework is of use only 1 chance in 6 in these surroundings, and an elf is no better than the other races at detecting an omeneiros secret door.

Even more deadly to those who confront them is the omeneiros goblins' innate skill with illusion and fear magic. Intruders in the goblins' warrens must save vs. spells once per hour or be subject to disturbing waking nightmares -- half-seen visions and whispering voices which cause penalties to hit, damage and morale (as a curse spell). Furthermore, a group of seven or more omeneiros goblins radiates a panicking aura akin to a confusion spell: each round their foes must save or (2d6) 2-5 flee for one round; 6-8 do nothing, cowering in fear; or 9-12 attack the nearest creature, whether friend or foe.

Omeneiros goblin clans are organized along lines similar to their lesser kindred, with stronger subchiefs and guards according to their numbers. Larger groups are led by chieftains or clanmothers who cast spells as magic-users of up to 7th level in ability. Chieftains, clanmothers and the strongest warriors will be Fevercloaks, who go to battle girded with horrific illusionary bodies. Each takes on a unique visage -- serpentine spiders, huge jewelled scorpions, flayed ogres and grotesquely mutated goblin forms have all been observed. Fevercloaks attack as 3-6 HD monsters, doing damage by weapon type, though to all appearances they attack with the claws, fangs or stingers of their chosen form.

Fevercloaked Omeneiros clanmother

Those who behold a Fevercloak in its nightmare form must save vs. spells or be stricken with fear. Creatures under 2 HD will flee for 2-8 rounds, and be shaken even on a successful save, taking a -1 penalty to attacks and damage; those of more than 2 HD will be shaken only on a failed save (cumulative with the waking nightmare effect described above). If a Fevercloak hits with a natural 20 its foe must save vs. death magic or collapse in terrified paralysis, apparently dead as far as the victim's companions can tell.

When slain a Fevercloak reverts to its normal goblin form. In addition, they appear in their normal forms when viewed in a mirror. This may give a smart party the idea of attempting disbelief if confronted by another of its ilk. While the illusionary form will persist, disbelief will allow an additional save against the Fevercloak's fear effects.

Yagatz Moon-Eyes, sample Fevercloak: AC 5 (chainmail), HD 4, hp 24, MV 60' (20'), #AT 2, D 1-6/1-6 (2 short swords), Save M-U 4, ML 9.

In Cloaked form Moon-Eyes is a spindly horror, a shriveled goblin torso crawling on elongated spiderlike legs and arms. A drooling toothless mouth mumbles obscene limericks as he scuttles into battle. Huge cloudy eyes stare from a shrunken and malformed skull, and a pair of slashing chitinous mandibles thrust forth from enormously distended nostrils.

MP3: Leviathan, Vexed & Vomit-Hexed (Compact Disc, search "Tentacles of Whorror" - Download)
"Fear steals a voice / The price paid for dreaming / This is the cloud that lumbers across vision / A canopy of paranoia threatening light at its sting / Visions of existence appear and recede".

Warlock Mimes: BHMK excerpt

Silent Killers

Tall and long-limbed, the warlock mimes are slender humanoids of unknown species and origin. They dress in close fitting white and black striped clothing. Like all members of the Black Hole Metal Kult their faces are white and etched with black runes and symbols, but in the case of the mimes this is not corpespaint but their natural complexion. They never speak, but their faces are incredibly expressive and they move with exaggerated yet fluid gestures. Their eyes, however, are blank and untouched by emotion.

The mimes are a mystery even to the leaders of the Kult, who rely on their mystical abilities but do not fully trust them. One is male, the other female. The other kultists speculate they are brother and sister, or lovers, or both, but none know for sure. One thing that is certain is the sadistic enthusiasm with which the mimes participate in kultic rites.

As noted, the warlock mimes never speak or vocalize in any way -- indeed they make hardly a sound at all, moving in near complete silence at all times. Their spells and magic are worked using somatic gestures only (The unabashed JM is encouraged to act this out, and might even consider charades if an attempt to parley is made).

Ximox, the male, knows the spells Fire Blast, Trapped in a Box (victim is trapped in an airless, slowly shrinking cube), and Howling Wind (blast of wind impedes movement). Xomix, the female, knows Spectral Body, Masque of the Mummen (mask projects incapacitating emotion such as maniacal laughter or sniveling terror against one foe), and Mocking Mirror (imitation of one foe's actions is so annoying and distracting that it causes a penalty to all attacks, skills, and saves).



The Warlock Cafe

MP3: Varis, Roussin, Torchinsky, & Mahieux, Reve Bohemien (Compact Disc)

This room is furnished in the style of a charming streetside cafe, with a cobbled floor and tables and chairs to seat up to ten people. Sunbeetles in glass jars give the room a sunny afternoon glow. A vase of cut flowers stands on each table, and potted ferns and ficus trees add a touch of greenery. A low raised stage takes up the eastern third of the room. A concertina rests there on a stool. At any given time there will be from 2-7 people here, seeming at first glance to be having a lovely time.

A closer look will show that everything about the room is a horrid lie. The cracks between the cobblestones are stained with gore, and the no amount of cut flowers can completely cover the stink of old blood and filth. The cafe guests are here for the depraved sport of the warlock mimes, who amuse themselves by subjecting their captives to torture and pantomime (which are not, of course, mutually exclusive). The food and drink is drugged to make the captives docile and prone to suggestion. Though they remain conscious of their actions the guests are compelled to do whatever they are asked. Their eyes are glassy, and their feet are nailed to the floor.

After the warlocks perform for them, the captives are sacrificed to the space gods.

The warlock mimes will be found here 30% of the time. They will attempt to hypnotize and interrogate anyone unknown to them using Ensorcel and Read Minds. Those found to be enemies will be attacked using spells. Note that a party may not even be aware of any danger until the mimes strike. Their spellcasting blends seemlessly with their pantomime, appearing to be no more threatening than the attentions of any normal street performer.

MP3: Dead Raven Choir, The Silence (Compact Disc: search 'Selenoclast Wolves')

Creeping Crud

Something has gone terribly wrong with my submission to Rondo's Fugly Dice competition, and I now fear I may be responsible for an outbreak of...

The Creeping Crud

Numbers 1 swarm
# ATT 1
ATT % melee 40
Damage 1-10 pt
Hit Points 1-100
Save 50%
Edible 5%
% Lurk 06%
$ Value 42 per seed
Special pratfalls, itchiness & dolor

Creeping Crud is a fast spreading swarm organism born from pentagonal trapezohedronic seeds from space. It is the scourge of the Amalgamated Postal Corps throughout Vanth. The seeds are highly sought after by collectors of gewgaws as well as the Sect of The Ten Faced God, who often trade them through the mail. Unless the correct phasic precautions are taken when the seeds are transported an outbreak of Creeping Crud swarms may occur (An example of poor packaging would be wrapping a seed in a few squares of TP and hoping for the best).

A Creeping Crud swarm attacks by rolling on the floor underfoot, waiting for the unwary to slip and fall (sneak attack 77%). When this happens they engulf the victim and attack with painful stings. The sting causes an itchy and depressing rash over d% of the victims body (-10% ATT values, -20% Seduce, victim will feel a crushing sense of disappointment about how his or her life turned out, which may explain why postal workers can be so surly) and unless a successful roll of Consume Alien Food is made the victim will produce a new Creeping Crud seed in 2-20 days in a manner left to the reader's imagination.

MP3s: Memphis Jug Band (CD or Download)
* Gator Wobble
* Fourth Street Mess Around
Got nothing to do with the above, but sure do make me feel better.

Tirapheg Week Resumes: Mazes & Minotaurs

Sticking more closely to the original beast, here's a version for Revised Mazes & minotaurs.

Tripodocephalos

Taxonomy : Animate
Description : Living stone guardians with three arms, three legs, and three heads, seeming not so much carved as fused together from broken statuary. The heads may be male, female or bestial. The central arm is formed into a grasping claw, while the other two are shaped into fists or wield stone weapons.
Size : Large
Ferocity : Dangerous +2
Cunning : Alert +1
Mystique : Eldritch +2
Movement : 90’
Initiative : 15
Melee Attack : +6 (3 attacks)
Damage : 2d6 (claw and fists or weapons)
Defense Class : 18
Hits Total : 24
Detection / Evasion : +8 / +4
Mystic Fortitude : +4
Special Abilities : Camouflage (ruins or stone walls), Crushing Damage (claw), Grapple (Might 20), Mindless, Multiple Heads, Natural Armor, Sixth Sense, Stealthy.
Unique Ability : Extra Attack. A Tripodocephalos can attack up to three times per round instead of twice as most Large creatures do.
Awards : Glory 220, Wisdom 40.

Additional Lore : Tripodocephaloi are found in crumbling ruins, underground vaults, and desecrated holy places. They act as guardians for shrines, tombs and other sites and are never found wandering without purpose. Their origins are mysterious: some point to legends telling of temple thieves cursed into stone by the gods, while others feel the tripodocephaloi are constructed by mortal priests or magicians. A few eccentric scholars even argue they are made by gorgons as some cruel sort of artwork or jest.

Because No One Demanded It: Tirapheg Week!

Ah, the original Fiend Folio. Many gamers dislike the book, and apparently it was so poorly received that after two separate negative reviews in Dragon Magazine* the Folio's editor Don Turnbull was allowed a rebuttal in a later issue. The book sold reasonably well but was allowed to go out of print after only two years. Reportedly Gary Gygax himself thought poorly of the book.

None of which lessens my love for it one iota. In fact the often reviled Tome of Creatures Malevolent & Benign gave this blog its name, and inspired several of my earliest posts here! It has its share of goofy monsters, like nearly all monster books do. OK, perhaps more than its share. But I love the Folio's homebrew roots, its sense of humor, the fantastic art by Russ -- as distinctive a stylist as Erol Otus in my book. And in fairness it contains many of the game's more memorable foes as well: the gith and the slaadi, the drow and svirfneblin, the revenant and the death knight.

Of course it also has the spectacularly inexplicable flumph, which has earned a sort of mascot status among gamers of a certain stripe, and was notably featured in a running gag in the D&D webcomic Order of the Stick. Even more bizarre though, is the tirapheg, a spike-armed, stump-legged manikin man with a mouth in its belly and a craving for carrion. I suppose it's a pretty silly monster, yeah, but it has always fascinated me. There is something eerie about its blank faces and staring eyes, its tentacle-whiskered mouth and grasping claw. It teeters on a line between the absurd and the horrific.


Enough apologetics. All of this is mere prelude. From now till Friday it's Tirapheg Week here in my corner of the web, a new variation each day. Making the Best of My Very Worst Ideas. That's the Malevolent & Benign Promise.

If you're still with me, take a jump into the Mutant Future just after the cut.

* Ed Greenwood complained that the "Flat taste didn't go away" and the other review related the "Observations of a semi-satisfied customer." Ouch!


Not too long ago Edsan of Clanless/Mutants posted a great write up of the flumph for Mutant Future, so I thought I'd kick things off likewise.

Broken Men

No. Enc: 1-4 (3-12)
Alignment: Neutral
Move: 90' (30') but see below
Armor Class: 8
Hit Dice: 7
Attacks: varies, see below
Damage: 1-4 per attack
Save: L7
Morale: 10
Hoard Class: VIII (gizmos) or IX (drugs, chemicals or medical devices)

When gene sequencing programs go haywire or nanoviruses infect the spawning vats, clone manufactories sometimes produce the strange mutants called Broken Men. They vary wildly in form, their blandly human appearance twisted by misshapen limbs and multiple legs, arms and heads. Arms grow into spikes, claws or whips. They hop, limp and crawl on backwards feet or serpentine legs. Some have two or three heads and some have no heads at all, eyes and mouths gaping from their chests or elsewhere. The tables below can be used to determine the forms of individuals or groups encountered.

Broken men are semi-intelligent at best. They mumble and titter amongst themselves but have no semblance of language or culture. They are motivated chiefly by hunger for decaying flesh, and have no compunction about devouring their own dead. Some venture from the clone factories to rob graves and even to hunt live prey, travelling only at night since 90% suffer from the albinism mutation. A broken man attacks with whatever natural weapons it possesses, up to 6 attacks per round based on its number of functional arms. It may also attack with its mental mutations.

Mutations: albinism, bizarre appearance. Each broken man has one mental mutation, plus one per head.

Heads: Roll d4-1 for quantity

Senses
1-3. Normal
4. Echolocation
5. Thermal Vision
6. Ultraviolet Vision
7. Unusual Senses (e.g. 360 vision, motion sensitivity, heightened scent)
8. Unusual Sense (precognitive sight: +1 to hit and saving throws, never surprised)

Arms: Roll d6 for quantity and d8 for type (once per individual or once per arm)
1-3. Normal
4. Claw
5. Spike or blade
6. Stump (arm useless for attacking)
7. Telescoping (up to 10' reach)
8. Whip

Legs: Roll d4 for quantity and d8 for type (once per individual or once per leg)
1-3. Normal
4. Backwards
5. Serpentine or tentacled
6. Springing (leaps of up to 20' once per round)
7. Stilt-like (Movement 120' [90'])
8. Stump (GM's decision whether this limb affects movement)

Rhyme Stealer

Continuing in a fey theme, I dug out a rather nasty sprite I wrote up a few years back, the rhyme stealer. In two versions, the 3rd Edition original and Labyrinth Lord.


Rhyme Stealer

Small Fey (Sprite)
Hit Dice: 1d6 +1 (4 hp)
Initiative: +8 (+4 Dex, +4 Improved Initiative)
Speed: 20ft, fly 40ft (good)
AC: 15 (+1 size, +4 Dex)
Attacks: Bite +5 melee; or Small rapier -1 melee; or composite shortbow +5 ranged
Damage: Bite 1d3-2 and poison; or Small rapier 1d4-2; or composite shortbow 1d6
Face: 5’x5’/5’
Special Attacks: Dissonant song, rhyme stealing, spell-like abilities
Special Qualities: SR 16
Saves: Fort:+1 Ref:+6 Will:+2

Abilities: Str:7 Dex:18 Con:12 Int:16 Wis:11 Chr:20

Skills: Bluff +9, Craft (luthier or violin maker) +11, Escape Artist +8, Hide +8, Listen +6, Move Silently +8, Perform (song) +9, Search +9, Sense Motive +4, Spot +6, Tumble +8, Use Magic Device +9

Feats: Dodge, Improved Initiative, Mobility, Weapon Finesse (bite)

Climate: Any land
Orgranisation: Solitary or heckle (3-6)
CR: 3
Treasure: No coins; 50% goods and items
Alignment: Usually chaotic neutral (always chaotic)
Advancement: By character class (Bard)

Rhyme stealers, sometimes called bardbanes or sharptongues, are prankish sprites who delight in mockery and insult. Capricious and wild at their best, rhyme stealers tend to be far more malicious and cruel than their fellow sprites, and are avoided if not despised by their brethren. It is said that some elven communities appoint archers specifically to discourage rhyme stealers from disrupting theatrical and musical festivals.

Renowned for their skill at building lutes, viols and fiddles, their cutting wit and knack for twisting a song against its singer makes them feared as well as admired among bards. A bard will occasionally seek out a gathering of rhyme stealers to challenge them at flyting, a battle of improvised poetic boasts and insults which is the rhyme stealers' favorite sport.

Rhyme stealers are slight of build, resembling pixies with black or red hair, dark eyes, long, beaky noses and sharp, needlelike teeth. Their mothlike wings are patterned in brown, black and red, and their feet are clawed like a crow's.

Combat:
Rhyme stealers are generally cowardly, preferring to taunt their victims invisibly and from a distance. They have been known to harry travelers for hours in this manner. However, they can be cunning and deadly foes when necessity or whim drives them into combat. Using their dissonant song to weaken their enemies, they favor attacking with spell-like abilities and arrow fire, darting in to nip at disabled foes with their poisonous bites.
Dissonant Song (Su): A Rhyme stealer's wild and melismatic song unsettles all who hear it, causing all foes within 30 feet who fail a Will save (DC 16) to take a -1 penalty to all attack and damage rolls and a -2 penalty to saves against fear affects. These penalties last so long as the rhyme stealer sings, and for five rounds after the singing stops. Creatures who successfully save against this effect cannot be affected by that same rhyme stealer's dissonant song for 24 hours. Essentially, this is a perversion of the bardic music ability inspire confidence, and works the same with regard to actions taken while singing.
Rhyme Stealing (Su): With a successful opposed Perform check, a rhyme stealer can disrupt the effects of bardic music, using a cruel pastiche of the bard's words and music to cancel her abilities. For ongoing effects such as inspire courage, competence, or greatness, this Perform check must be made every round. Used against a bard's fascinate or suggestion abilities, rhyme stealing allows the bard's target a new saving throw.
Poison (Ex): The rhyme stealer's bite is mildly poisonous (DC 11), dealing initial and secondary damage of 1d3 Charisma.
Spell-Like Abilities: At will -- invisibility; 3/day -- cause fear, ghost sound, sculpt sound, shatter; 1/day -- shout. These abilities are as spells cast by a 6th level sorcerer.
Skills: Like other sprites, rhyme stealers receive a +2 racial bonus to Listen, Search and Spot checks. They also receive a +4 bonus to Craft (luthier or violin maker) checks.

Let's pare that back to something more basic:

No. Enc: 1-4 (4-16)
Alignment: Neutral or Chaotic
Move: 90' (30') Flying: 180' (60')

Armor Class: 3
Hit Dice: 1**
Attacks: 1 bite or 1 weapon
Damage: 1 hp or by weapon

Save: Elf 4
Morale: 7
Hoard Class: III + IV, VI (gems, jewelry and magic only)

Special Abilities: Like pixies, rhyme stealers are invisible unless they choose to be seen (or they are magically spotted). They can attack and remain invisible, and will always gain surprise unless they have already made themselves known with their singing and taunting. Their dissonant song has the effect of a blight spell within a 30' range, i.e. -1 to morale, attack rolls and damage. Their bite does only 1 point of damage but those who fail to save versus poison are cursed. Typical victims are cursed with warts and boils all over the face (-4 to Charisma), loss of control over speaking volume (affecting the victim's ability to whisper while scouting or to yell out a warning, for example), or phantom bells and laughter echoing in the victim's ears (-4 to hit, magic-users must save vs. spells to successfully cast spells).

SEE ALSO: Petra Werle's fairy sculptures, in particular the marvelous Histoire(s) naturelle(s) series. Piskies and bogans like this or these do much to dispel the gauze of cuteness usually draped over fairy folk.

Borgesian Bestiary: Two Metaphysical Golems

Two recent posts at Monsters and Manuals took Jorge Luis Borges as their inspiration. Here's my contribution to a so far hypothetical Borgesian bestiary for D&D, based on "Two Metaphysical Beings:"

Armor Class: 5
Hit Dice: 10** (60 hp)
Move: 60' (20')
Attacks: 2 fists (and see below)
Damage: 2-16/2-16
Save As: F5
Morale: 12
Alignment: Neutral

The wizard Suligrebos died before he could solve the ten thousand formulae of his magico-mathematical proof of consciousness. The parchments on which he sketched and scrawled his theorems are incomprehensible palimpsests, black with symbol upon symbol and crumbling from the scraping knife and the eraser. Two of Suligrebos' creations survive, a pair of strange golems used to test his formulations. They are gaunt 10' humanoids sculpted from marble, attacking with powerful fists. They are able to see the invisible, and are never surprised. Magic weapons are required to hit them.

Five has a nearly human appearance, with disproportionately large eyes, ears and nostrils, and broad, flattened fingertips. A snakelike tongue forks from its mouth. It hungers for sensation; the room it guards is littered with objects both exotic and mundane: bones and polished stones; scraps of fur, leather and scale; blocks and cubes of wood and glass; jars of dried fruit, spices, aromatic herbs and essential oils; brilliant bolts of fabric; bells, chimes and rattles.

This golem radiates despair. All beings within 30' of Five with greater than animal intelligence must save spells or be so overwhelmed with hopelessness that they suffer -2 to hit and damage while in the golem's presence.

Five is immune to most spells. However, it will be distracted from attacking for one round if presented with a novel sensory experience; if the golem is attacked during this round it will respond in kind. Illusion magic can be used to this effect.

The other golem, One, is more bizarre in appearance, lacking facial features save for a gaping mouth frozen in a silent howl. A whip-like 10' long appendage projects from its forehead, in constant restless motion. Though this is the golem's only means of perceiving the world the antenna whip moves with such incredible speed that it has complete awareness of its surroundings and can attack and defend normally. The golem attacks only one opponent per round, lashing with its antenna and striking with its fists.

The whip does no damage but any foe it hits must save versus paralysis or be stricken with synaesthesia: he or she perceives the world for an instant as the golem does, a blur of fleeting sensory impressions. His or her senses are scrambled, so that color is heard, sounds are tasted, etc. Effectively, the victim is feebleminded and incapable of any action till the next round, when a new saving throw may be attempted. If a victim manages to shake off the synaesthesia, he or she is thereafter immune to the effect for the duration of the encounter.

One is unaffected by most spells. Silence, darkness, and stinking cloud can each prevent the golem from acting for a single round.

MP3: Quartango, Vassalean (Compact Disc - Downloads)
The Charles Mingus tune also known as 'Weird Nightmare,' performed as a tango.