Planet Gamma of the Apes

Oh, uh, hey. Been awhile since I popped up in your RSS feeds. Maybe lost my mojo a little. But wotthehell, here's a quick post.

So, I'm going to WinterWar! Pretty dang excited about that. Ole Jeff the Journey Master posted his Encounter Critical pregens the other day. Spiffy as they are, I could hardly pass up a chance to roll up my own EC PC.

First guy I came up with was Gusten Cipher, an insane, saber-wielding cyborg scientist with radar eyes -- half Captain Clegg, half Herr Doktor von Frankenstein, 100% Peter Cushing.


Maybe too much Peter Cushing. I dig this character, but he seemed a little high-falutin' for Planet Gamma. I mean, you saw the pack of freaks Jeff came up with, yeah? Gooble Gobble, what the f*%k, am I right? I wanted something crazy, kooky, and, if at all possible, ooky. Something low budget and not of this world. Something neither robot nor man nor ape.

I found this:



And lo...Born of Ape and Robodroid...The 10,000 kHz Gorilla...ZeeRok the Radio Ape.


Damn I'm looking forward to this!

Alas, Poor Wiskbat

The Wilderlands OD&D PbP I've been playing came to an abrupt end this week. While I'm disappointed, the DM's reasons for shutting down the game are entirely unassailable. If he starts the game anew I'll sign up but quick.

In the meantime, here's my first ever OD&D character, Wiskbat Tinker, half goat-footed Irish Clurichaun, half itinerant peddler out of Sholem Aleichem. Not sure where I got the idea to mix in Yiddish slang and proverbs with his dialog, but it sure made him fun to play.


Wiskbat is about 4 1/2 feet tall, with a wild mane of hair and bristly sideburns held down by a grubby cloth hat. A pair of hobnail boots conceal his hooves. His grin is usually brown with tobacco juice; he carries a pipe but always seems to misplace his tapers, so he just chews the leaf. His personal habits are slovenly and his gear generally poorly kept, though his blades are sharp. His fellow elves oft said of him, pinching their noses, "There's an apt rhyme for young Tinker, and it sure ain't thinker."

He holds to no gods, but is not uncommon found on his knees in the gutter after after a night's debauch. Whether this can be called a form of prayer is disputable.

MP3: Klezmatics, Mizmor Shir Lehanef (Compact Disc - Download)
AKA "Reefer Song." I feel certain Wiskbat would approve.

Gaming out the Earholes

Been a little quiet this month at Malevolent & Benign. Can't help but feel a little guilty (how vain, right?) but I guess that's what RSS feeds are for.

Truth is, my muse has deserted me. She was all like "You don't appreciate me" and I was all "Is this about that thing with Calliope? We were drunk, and nothing happened" and she was all, "Well Melpomene has a different story" and I was all like "I need to work on my writing" and she was "Oooh, your writing? You mean your blog? The Diary of a Mad Geekboy?" and I was "I can't believe you said that" and she was "Damn right I said it. You think you're Gary damn Gygax or something?" and I was "I need my space" and then she totally went off on me in Greek and moved out to stay with her sisters.

Well, no, nothing like that really. Just too busy with gaming stuff to write much about gaming stuff:

• Playing in a semi-biweekly 3.whatever cum Pathfinder game (character: Runt, obese half-orc wizard with a 5 Strength). Fun, if a bit loosey goosey, but...
• ...the DM just invited me to his main group, playing a 1st through 3rd edition hybrid, starting this weekend. I'm pretty excited about that.
• In addition, I'm in the excellent PbP game Scott/Driver's been writing about at Wilderlands OD&D (character: Wiskbat Tinker, stinky goat-footed elf)
• And just today I took over an Encounter Critical PbP we've been trying to start up. The Journey Master has been incommunicado for a week, so I did as Thrazar would, seizing the game by the lapels and lashing myself to the reins. Into the great blue yonder, wahooo!

All that, and I've gotta get back to work on my EC project, Gods From Outer Space, and at some point Rondo and I are gonna work on something together, and Fight On! #3, and...

...and you know what? It's awesome. I feel like a real live gamer.

P.S. I just won a copy of Arduin Grimoire #1 this afternoon, literally (and by literally I don't mean figuratively) in the last 10 seconds of the auction! Rawk!

Warlock Mimes: BHMK excerpt

Silent Killers

Tall and long-limbed, the warlock mimes are slender humanoids of unknown species and origin. They dress in close fitting white and black striped clothing. Like all members of the Black Hole Metal Kult their faces are white and etched with black runes and symbols, but in the case of the mimes this is not corpespaint but their natural complexion. They never speak, but their faces are incredibly expressive and they move with exaggerated yet fluid gestures. Their eyes, however, are blank and untouched by emotion.

The mimes are a mystery even to the leaders of the Kult, who rely on their mystical abilities but do not fully trust them. One is male, the other female. The other kultists speculate they are brother and sister, or lovers, or both, but none know for sure. One thing that is certain is the sadistic enthusiasm with which the mimes participate in kultic rites.

As noted, the warlock mimes never speak or vocalize in any way -- indeed they make hardly a sound at all, moving in near complete silence at all times. Their spells and magic are worked using somatic gestures only (The unabashed JM is encouraged to act this out, and might even consider charades if an attempt to parley is made).

Ximox, the male, knows the spells Fire Blast, Trapped in a Box (victim is trapped in an airless, slowly shrinking cube), and Howling Wind (blast of wind impedes movement). Xomix, the female, knows Spectral Body, Masque of the Mummen (mask projects incapacitating emotion such as maniacal laughter or sniveling terror against one foe), and Mocking Mirror (imitation of one foe's actions is so annoying and distracting that it causes a penalty to all attacks, skills, and saves).



The Warlock Cafe

MP3: Varis, Roussin, Torchinsky, & Mahieux, Reve Bohemien (Compact Disc)

This room is furnished in the style of a charming streetside cafe, with a cobbled floor and tables and chairs to seat up to ten people. Sunbeetles in glass jars give the room a sunny afternoon glow. A vase of cut flowers stands on each table, and potted ferns and ficus trees add a touch of greenery. A low raised stage takes up the eastern third of the room. A concertina rests there on a stool. At any given time there will be from 2-7 people here, seeming at first glance to be having a lovely time.

A closer look will show that everything about the room is a horrid lie. The cracks between the cobblestones are stained with gore, and the no amount of cut flowers can completely cover the stink of old blood and filth. The cafe guests are here for the depraved sport of the warlock mimes, who amuse themselves by subjecting their captives to torture and pantomime (which are not, of course, mutually exclusive). The food and drink is drugged to make the captives docile and prone to suggestion. Though they remain conscious of their actions the guests are compelled to do whatever they are asked. Their eyes are glassy, and their feet are nailed to the floor.

After the warlocks perform for them, the captives are sacrificed to the space gods.

The warlock mimes will be found here 30% of the time. They will attempt to hypnotize and interrogate anyone unknown to them using Ensorcel and Read Minds. Those found to be enemies will be attacked using spells. Note that a party may not even be aware of any danger until the mimes strike. Their spellcasting blends seemlessly with their pantomime, appearing to be no more threatening than the attentions of any normal street performer.

MP3: Dead Raven Choir, The Silence (Compact Disc: search 'Selenoclast Wolves')

Tirapheg Week: Encounter Critical

Greta Hipp, Pirate Limb-Taker

The Chopping Blokes are a freebooting band of limb traders who maraud across southern Vanth on the hovercraft Guillotine. Sailing land and sea alike they leave a trail of hook-handed and stump-legged victims in their wake. Though by no means a gentle bunch they work fast and clean, processing their "donors" with the self-sharpening and auto-cauterizing limb slicers that equip their ship.

The captain of the Guillotine and queen of the Blokes is Greta Hipp. A freak Lamarckian mutant born to champion three-legged racers, Greta has multiple detachable limbs--three each of arms, legs, and heads. Ordinarily she wears her own heads and arms but affects a pair of peg legs, but naturally she maintains an arsenal of specialized limbs for battle and adventuring. Her eyes are green and grey and blue, and she's a natural blond, brunette and redhead.

Greta, rather fetching with her extra limbs detached

Her crew is steady and loyal. Greta keeps their pillaging in check, but their violent urges find an outlet in frequent skirmishes with other limb traders, bandits and privateers. When battle is certain the captain arms herself with brawny wooky or frankenstein fists and a robodroid arm with built-in grappling hook. She often dons grimacing gargoyle faces or blank manikin heads to unnerve her foes. Her weapons of choice are twin rock salt pistols, cutlass, and a stingray whip.

Stats and pirate songs after the cut.


Greta Hipp (Pioneer 5)

ADA 14
DEX 12
ESP 11
INT 12
LEA 16
LUC 5
MAG 10
ROB 8
STR 10

HP 29
Saving Throw 28% (43% with armor)
Melee ATT/DAM 50%/-
Ranged ATT/DAM 84%/+4

MUTATIONS: Detachable Limbs, Unusual Locomotion

WEAPONS & GEAR
Rock Salt pistols (D 2-16, 7"/25", distance penalty -4)
Stingray Whip (D 2-12 + pain causes 20% penalty to skill rolls for one round, 4" reach, 55% scare)
Cutlass
Squid Ink and Skunk Bombs

SEE ALSO: The Pin-Up Files. I only visit it for character portraits, honest.

MP3: Stump - Chaos (Out of Print - Used Compact Disc - Download)
If you listen to only one pirate anthem from an obscure 80s band this week, let this be the one!

MP3: Firesign Theatre, Ralph Spoilsport's Going Out of Body Sale (Compact Disc - Download)
A limb trader's gotta unload her plunder somewhere.

Villains of Vanth: Broken Hearts Clan

The Broken Hearts Clan control the lucrative vending machine and carny games rackets in Bloodhaven. Most of the Clan are goblings. Theories abound on the provenance of goblings -- some allege they are nocturnal hoblings, others insist they are a surface-dwelling goblin tribe. Some even say they are a hybrid of the two races, but since a tendency toward foul tempers and revengeful natures is one fact about goblings which is not in dispute, they say so quietly.

Currently the Broken Hearts are led by the rakish Roff the Gob. His lieutenants are the shaggy klengish warlock Mothreena, the half-gator, half-gob, all-badass skater Cubeena, and "Wrench" Toffling, visionary, inventor and charlatan.

(Numbers in some of the backgrounds refer to level-advancement tasks

Mothreena the Mysterious (Warlock 5)

Mothreena keeps her background a closely held mystery, though it isn't unusual really: blissful childhood as the doted upon daughter of a modestly successful klengon arms dealer; predictable rejection of her family in her rebellious teen years; drudge, apprentice, lover and ultimately killer of an older wizard. All too dull and bourgeois, and not at all in keeping with the Mothreena‘s immense self-regard. She sees herself as a queen, ermined by her magick-induced beard and pelt, and she wields her hauteur like a royal scepter.

Loathe to sully herself with menial tasks and impatient by nature, Mothreena is quick to use Ensorcel for many small chores, despite the damage this abuse of magic does to her mundane abilities. Major spells of her invention include Wall of Silk and the senses befuddling Mystery. Her familiar is a drakcat summoned with her spell Magic Pet.

Runcible "Wrench" Toffling (Scientist 3/Criminal 1)

A brilliant theoretician but prone to over-promise and under-deliver, Runcible “Wrench” Toffling has often found his genius diverted from exploring the mysteries of creation to escaping his creditors. He’s currently hired on with the Broken Hearts clan, having found that duping the rubes is as much a science as chemistry or electronics. He still dreams, however, of building a fully Tesseractive Buckminster Sphere, and thereby ending Vanth’s isolation from galactic commerce. Or so he tells potential patrons, anyway.

INVENTIONS & DECEPTIONS
(S2) Tofflings Lofting Lifts (telescoping shoes for the height conscious hobling; mainly used by second story men)
(S3) Probability Cloak (attackers take 25% penalty to hit)
(C1) Despite failing utterly to build a Free Energy Machine; Wrench succeeded wildly at selling it to credulous investors

Cubeena Gleam (Biker 2/Warrior 2)

It is rumored that Cave Alligator lizard-matrons devour all but the strongest of their spawn. If you ask Cubeena about it she has a ready answer that starts with her fist and rhymes with your face. On her best behavior she is surly, foul-mouthed and abrasive, and she's not going to take a snipped nickel’s worth of crap from the likes of you. What she does when she isn’t skating or sparring is not your business, dig? And you don't ever wanna talk smack about her mother.

Despite her grouchy ways, Cubeena is well-liked by her fellow Broken Hearts Clan goblings, and though they may jeer at her (behind her back, natch), they respect her and do what she asks. This has caused some conflict with the imperious Mothreena.

Cubeena is sweet on Wrench, who keeps her deck and trucks running smoothly. By which I mean her skateboard, perv.

In her youth Cubeena was Jury Prize winner and crowd fave at the Trog Agog All-Cave Biker Tourney. Other highlights of her career include the (W1) slaying of an orc chieftain in a skate-by with her gavial ax, and the (B2) perfection of the Alligator Oop, a ramp-assisted self-cannonball maneuver, which she (W2) used to crumple the giantess Vogra the Ogra by smashing her with an armored hobling.

ARMOR, WEAPONS & GEAR
Gladiatrix Armor
Gavial Ax
.38 revolver
Armored Hobling (requires successful use of the biker class Radical skill)
Portable Glow Stick (she is sluggish in cool weather)
Meat Jerky

Rofford "Gob" Boggins (Criminal 6)

A gobling from Bloodhaven, Rofford the Gob began his criminal career shilling counterfeit god-tokens during high festival season on the Hierophants' Isle. (It's anyone's guess how the pan-animist Suldukus can tell a real god from a fake.) Incarcerated on a prison ship, Gob (2) soon controlled the convicts’ black market, while charming the brig commandant into making him trustee and chief deck swab. This misplaced trust gave Gob the freedom he needed to (3) organize a mutiny and steer the ship to the freebooting Mercenary Coast, where he hung his shingle as an expert lock snip and fingersmith. Hired and betrayed by Blackhawk’s chancellor, (4) a burglary turned into an assassination when Gob was forced to kill the adenoidal Prince and his guard to escape. He fled through the endless dungeon 'neath Blackhawk Castle and in the course of adventures there (5) stole a Magic Ring from the cave hobling Mugs Allgloome. He emerged at last from the dungeon in the forest near Bloodhaven, hitchhiked into the city, and (6) promptly won control of the Broken Hearts Clan by beating the former chief in three straight hands of Crooked Vulkin.

Gob is remarkably angelic for a gobling. His tousled auburn curls frame so boyish and naive seeming a face that’s he is often mistaken for a tyro or simpleton. He turns this to his advantage with merchants, thieves and women alike, including his current lover Mothreena.

WEAPONS & GEAR
Elf Silver Chain
Stungun and Bee Girl Stiletto with Orc Spice poison
Talisman of Phasics
Cursed Ring of Invisibility (allows true invisibility; powered by bad deeds)


MP3: Madvillain, The Illest Villains (Compact Disc - Download)

MP3: Motorhead, Love You Like a Reptile (Compact Disc & Download)
Dear Robyn Hitchcock, Please cover this song. Thanks, Max

Epic Level Vanth: Pops Okkult, Mad Scientist

Here's another from my Encounter Critical rogues gallery, done primarily to see how a very high-level character might turn out. One of the neat things about EC is that level advancement requires the completion of a special task -- a new spell for a warlock, a new territory discovered or mapped by a pioneer etc. In Jeff Rient's review of the game he points out that this is "a great way to put the ball into the players' court. 'Hey, I've got enough XP for level 4. Would you guys help me rob a bank?' " It's also a fun tool for brainstorming NPC backgrounds, setting details and plot hooks.

The Mad Scientist class advances in level by making scientific discoveries, new inventions, or uncovering Truths Humanity was Not Meant to Know. In the process he gains a new mutation each level...

Papadamos Ozymandias Kulintang
Mad Scientist 9

ADA 8

DEX 12

ESP 15

INT 12

LEA 9

LUC 10

MAG 15

ROB 10

STR 2

HP 49

Saving Throw 99%
Melee ATT/DAM 14%/-7
Ranged ATT/DAM 59%/+1

MUTATIONS
Blind: radar sense compensates.
Hypertrophied Limbic Node: messianic urges; see below
Invisible Friend: daemonic valet whispers aphorisms, riddles, elder secrets, pertinent quotations from forbidden manuscripts, and sartorial advice.
Laser Eyes: D 1-8, 22"/250".
Life Sucker: D 1-8 to all within 30', regain 1-8 hp. 1/hour.
Micro-Climate: controls weather within 5 feet; usually damp with icy mist or lit by the glare of alien suns.
Mimic: camouflage adds 10% to Invisibility.
Mutated Psionic Lobe: +2 ESP, -5 STR, as noted above.
Photophasic Allergy: laser & phasic damage x2.
Smoldering Pores: robes always charred and holey, smoke curls from nostrils.
Transmogrifier: take physical form & attributes of any creature, gain up to double hp.

ACTS OF RENOWN: Eldritch Dalliances & Discoveries
2. Investigated the wreck of the Good Ship Lollypolyp
3. Found the lost Tentacularium of the Mantopi
4. Discovered the secret genealogy of Asa Goodman Thoth, the Mummy Pilgrim
5. Sounded the Lost Chord of doomed bluesman Matty O’Rilyeh
6. Redrew the blueprint to the legendary Torpedo Star Throne by channeling a Space Phantome
7. Synthesized rare blood isotope needed to unlock the Tenth Vampire Door
8. Serendipitous discovery of a cure for alchemical spore inflammation (fails to enter into widespread usage due to the impractical quantities of gojiron ichor required in its making)
9. Diverted the Moon of the Seven Shackles from collision with Vanth

WEAPONS & OTHER GEAR
Lunar Crook as quarterstaff but uses Magic ATT %, with Ensorcel roll can teleport holder and/or one other up to 1500 miles, 1/day.
Scarf of the Mantopi ends animate on command, providing two additional limbs with 7-18 STR, up to 20' reach, can attack with steel foils as Warrior 2 (+28% ATT, +2 damage)
Demon Touched Ring +45% Saving Throw
Kaleidoscope Vest refracts light; dissipates lasers on successful Save (54%)
Folding Laboratory stocked with standard alchemical array.
Tatterdemalion Cloak

The technomancer known as Pops Okkult shows little outward sign of madness. The mutational effects of his researches and experiments have left his body mostly unmarked, and he is not given to grandiose raving and shouting as are some of his peers. If one pays close attention a nimbus of strange light sometimes seems to color his features and twist his shadow, and a whiff of smoke hovers in the air about him. But to most he seems merely a shabby old man in a sooty scarf.

Nonetheless, Pops is driven by a terrible obsession: He believes it his destiny to unlock the Great Writhing Wormhole at the center of Vanth. The fact that this would destroy the planet and scatter all of its people and places into millions of space-time fragments throughout the galaxy is of small consequence. To fund his doomsday plot he travels Vanth by Lunar Crook and scenic tour bus selling subscriptions to Grit and the Eibon Times-Eschatologer.

(complete stats for Pops, the Mad Scientist class and Mutation Table expansion can be found at the Encounter Critical mailing list. Tell 'em Thrazar sent you.)

MP3: Circle, Torpedo Star Throne (Compact Disc - Download)

MP3: John Benjamin Band, More Science (from SongFight.com)

Tyros of Vanth: An Encounter Critical Rogues Gallery

In the spirit of my previous post on mash-up settings I thought I'd share some of the posse of first level Encounter Critical characters I've been working on. Puns, wordplay, goofy drawrings, and Google image searches are chiefest of my inspirations.

Wharf Kodaz, Hoodoo Klengon Warlock

Favored of the Klengon Smelt God, He Who Came From Beyond The Stars to Spawn in The Sea, Wharf quests to sail all of the oceans of Vanth. He has 7 toes on his left foot and is prone to exaggeration and salty language. Susceptible to omens and portents.

Dr. Shelby Munreau, Wolf-Headed Frankenstein-Wooky Scientist

Shelby's mother always warned him that his lust for knowledge would lead him to a bad end, but he never listened. He was consumed with his search for the origins of the Frankenstein race. Night after night he'd stay up late with a flashlight, poring over bubbling test tubes and tattered copies of National Xenographic. Mrs. Munreau cried when the hair sprouted on Shelby's palms, and stopped talking to him for a week when his snout and fangs began to grow. She frets over him to this day. What is a mother to do?

At about the time his wolf features developed Shelby also grew a third eye socket at the base of his skull. Soon afterward he began to have visions of a flickering black and white land of craggy mountains, deep forests, and spooky castles. He is convinced that his Secret Eye overlooks the lost homeland of frankensteins, wolfmen, and all of the monster peoples.
  

Jon-Clyde Dam Vanne, Primitive Robodroid Pugilist, Conversion Model

The Dam Vanne series of conversion robodroid prototypes was manufactured by the Gehenna Motor Corporation in the waning years of their operations on Vanth. Development of the series was discontinued after the boardroom exorcism of former Chief Infernal Officer I-G-Iococca. Jon-Clyde believes himself to be the last of his model year.

A diligent thinker, Jon-Clyde's ideas are often ignored because of his extreme shyness and passivity. He is only assertive with his fists. He is currently unable to switch to his damnation van form due to loss (or theft?) of ignition keys.

Keemo Knobknee, Dwarven Vigilante (Criminal)

Keemo used to be a cop, working undercover in the dockside markets of the City of Thunders. Fired for rough manners and public drunkenness, forced to turn in his badge and his ammo belt, Keemo turned vigilante. He's on the trail of a cabal of potion bootleggers stretching from Thunders all the way to Salty Bay, and he intends to shut them down any way he can.

Alligator Boy & Monkey Girl, Lizard Man Psi-Knight & Planetary Ape Doxy

A free spirit born into a rigidly structured evolved ape hive, Bonita Nobo squirmed under the ant-like conformity expected of her. She couldn't help but stand out, a butterfly among the drones, and fled the hive as soon as she was able. She ended up drifting northward with the Funfair Nomads, and entered service as a specialty girl in Barby Luminea's Le Hot Freak Circus, taking the professional name Monkey Girl.

At the Circus Monkey Girl met the slave guard known as Alligator Boy and both of their lives changed forever. 'Gator Boy had just begun to manifest his psychic gifts when he accidentally mindmelded with Monkey Girl one evening as he escorted her back to her quarters. To their amazement they discovered that they shared the same secret birthmark – an arcane sigil of unknown meaning. The two swiftly fell in love and escaped the seraglio in search of their shared destiny.

(complete stats for all of the above can be found at the Encounter Critical mailing list)

SEE ALSO: The story of Percilla Lauther and Emmitt Bejano, real life Monkey Girl and Alligator-Skinned Man

MP3: The Buzzrats, Under Carnival Skies Compact Disc - Download)

Jazz for Mutants

I have a half dozen half-formed posts in my head, but mostly I've been skimming through the just released Mutant Future. I'm waiting for my print copy to give it a proper sit-down read, and may write a proper review. In brief: it's great, and it takes retro-cloning in a fresh direction. It has leech rabbits, mansquitos, and spidergoats and if that doesn't impress you then frankly I'm a little disappointed. No time to say much more than that tonight, so I'll sign off with some mutant jazz.

(Oh, and like the good Doc Rotwang I did take the time time to roll up a character, a scrappy little mutant raven called Edgar Allen Crow. Stats below the cut.)

MP3: Maria Schneider Jazz Orchestra, Scenes from Childhood: 1. Bombshelter Beast [album out of print - no downloads available]

MP3: Roland Kirk, Rip, Rig & Panic [Compact Disc - Download]

MP3: Pierre Dorge & New Jungle Orchestra, Absurd Bird [album out of print - no downloads available]

Edgar Allen Crow

STR: 8
DEX: 11
CON: 13
INT: 10
WIL: 12
CHA: 7
HP: 47
AC: 6
Natural Weapon: Beak attack D 1d6-3

Mutations
Physical
Aberrant Form (Enlarged Parts): Decided that enlarged and strengthened wings would allow Edgar a slow, clumsy flight, at a movement rate equal to his STRx10: 80'.
Dwarfism: only 1' tall, smaller even than his ancestral stock Corvus corax. +2 to hit targets human-sized & larger, -2 damage. +2 bonus to AC.

Mental
Mind Reflection: When affected by any mental attack, able to reflect it back at the attacker.

Equipment
Heavy cloak (AC 8)

Brace of 4 daggers (all but ineffective due to his damage penalties, but he's not above using poison...)
Light Crossbow and 40 quarrels
Flask, flint & steel, mirror, spyglass

A Boy and His Dog Guinea Pig

I recently picked up a copy of Gamma World's Second Edition. I've written briefly about my love for this game, but I haven't owned it since 1990. Inspired by the image below, here's the first GW character I've diced up in twenty years. Quite happily, he illustrates how plumb loco, how out of hand this game can be.


Big Billy Cheroot

Big Billy was born to rodent farmers in the NewLenz Fens, in a year of Bad Water. Most of the kids and livestock born that year grew at an enormous rate, too fast for their lungs and bones. They died trying to stand. Billy was one of the few to survive that dark time. He grew tall and strong, four meters high by age of nine, and kept right on growing.

By the time he was a teenager he was doing the work of many hands. He had a knack for jerry-rigged tools and an easy way with the stock. The meanest bull nutria gentled to his touch, and he never failed to holler back a stray jennypig.

Unfortunately Billy just couldn't keep out of trouble. Every few weeks some snake-hooded menarl would come itching to fight, or badder buckaroos would jump him on his way back from the levee. Gators, stink-lions, poomers and worse came marauding the farms so regular you could time your planting by 'em. To spare his folks more rough whiles, Big Billy hit the highway, taking with him an enormous jennypig name of Cavvy, his lifelong pet.

MP3: Jelly Roll Kings, I'm a Big Boy Now [Compact Disc - Digital]

Stats after the break!

Big Billy Cheroot, The Man with No Home

MS: 11 (17 vs. Mental Attack)
IN: 13
DX: 10
PS: 20 (+5 damage)
CH: 10
CN: 13
HP: 64
AC: 5

Mutations
Physical
New Body Parts: Poison sting finger, intensity 9-18, 5 doses/day.
Sonic Blast: 3-18 damage to all within 15m radius
Taller: 8m tall, +6 ST, +8 to hit, +6 HD

Mental
Heightened Brain Talent: +2 figure out artifacts, +4 MS vs. Mental Attack
Heightened Intelligence: +4 figure out artifacts, +2 MS vs. Mental Attack
Improved Symbiotic Attachment: Control one creature touched; requires Melee & Mental Attack; dies if controlled creature dies. Maintains a permanent bond with Cavvy while within 1100m.
Summoning: Summon and command any creature of IN 4 or less within 1km, duration concentration, 1/12 hrs.
Unconscious Summoning (Defect): When at peace for two weeks or more, all natural enemies within 1km seek Billy out until he fights something.

Equipment

Fiber Armor & Shield
Two-Handed Sword (of normal size, wielded one-handed),
serape, boots, camping gear, and very large bedroll.

Cavvy (mutant guinea pig): HD 10d12, HP: 77, AC: 9, Move: 16km/900m/24m, Mutations - Gas Generation (bad-smelling and irritating, no other effects), Sound Imitation (immune to Sonic Blasts, mimicry), Taller

Dice as Destiny!

Today's excellent post over Grognardia way, On the Oracular Power of Dice, reminded me of this bit of True Scientific Realism from Encounter Critical:

It is unrealistic to require characters to qualify for a character class; many people are very bad at what they do. Certainly, nobody asked us if we were qualified to design this game. Every class has one or more qualifying statistics ... You must have a score of 9 or better in the qualifying statistics or your Experience Point bonus odds are halved....Apart from this anyone can qualify for any class. If a Frankenstein-Klengon wants to be a doxy we aren't going to be the ones to tell her she isn't pretty.

Sometimes playing strictly by the dice gets frustrating, but it can also force you to think creatively. You can even trick your brain down paths you would never have gotten to otherwise. Messing around rolling up EC characters one night I decided to embrace this doctrine at every level of character generation: stats 3d6 in order, naturally, but I also diced for character race, evolution level, mutant and hybrid status, and even class.

I confess, at first the Amazon warrior I rolled up left me a little underwhelmed. Obviously, the very fact that Amazon warrior is a player character option is Exhibit A for Awesome, it's true. Even so, I wasn't grooving with it. Then, a roll or two of the dice -- hybrid: planetary ape -- and in a flash, Barborilla, Amazon-Ape Arrow-Maid, was born!


ADAPTATION 15
DEXTERITY 18
ESP 10
INTELLECT 11
LEADERSHIP 10
LUCK 12
MAGIC POWER 3
ROBOT NATURE 9
STRENGTH 8

Hit Points: 10
Melee: 70% damage +0
Missile: 96% damage +8
Saving Throw: (with armor bonus) 56%



MUTATIONS: cannibal urges, edible excretions (sweats a nutritious sap), self-consuming brain
GEAR: Compound bow, bardiche, cutlass, buckler. Utility belt, 60' rope, canteen, camping gear, first aid kit, potion of strength

HISTORY: Barborilla was the love child of the Amazon Spearwardess Anje and the ape N'Traza. Anje's love of battle far exceeded her maternal drive, so Barborilla was raised by her father, a hard-working teak miner of the Ape Sultanate. A runty child, only her father's high status in the Silverbacks Local 55 kept her from being cast out of the troop. Despite lacking the strength of her forebears, she grew into a fiercely proud woman, using her cunning and her deadly aim to earn the respect of the apes. Now she seeks to test her mettle in the wider world.

QUIRK: Nearly dead to magic, Barborilla has trouble perceiving sorcerous effects, often doubting the presence of magic even close at hand. She is reluctant to rely on magic of any sort, and may have to be tricked to take advantage of magical tools and spells. She is under the impression that her potion of strength is an extremely potent vitamin soup.