Showing posts with label Palladium. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Palladium. Show all posts

Friday, October 31, 2014

Mad Wizards and Demented Godlings


Achaierai: "Though the foul motives which caused these loathsome birds to be first summoned from the infernal depths are now lost from memory, remnants of the original achaierai flock still stalk the earth..."

Bulette: "The bulette (or landshark) was thought to be extinct until recently when this horror reappeared. It was the result of a mad wizard's experimental cross breeding of a snapping turtle and armadillo with infusions of demons' ichor."

Catoblepas: "Perhaps its habitat fetid swamps and miasmal marshes caused the bizarre combination of genetic characteristics in this monster, or perhaps it was due to some ghastly tinkering with life by a demented godling."

Death Knight: "The death knight and there are only twelve of these dreadful creatures known to existis a horrifying form of lich created by a demon price (it is thought Demogorgon) from a fallen human paladin."

Derro: "The derro are a degenerate race of dwarf-like stature, possibly a cross between evil humans and dwarves."

Dragonne: "A weird cross between a brass dragon and a giant lion..."

Gnoll (Rules Compendium): "Gnolls are rumored to be the result of a magical combination of a gnome and a troll by an evil magic-user."

Iron Cobra: "The invention of some great magic-user or minor deity, this segmented automaton is made of an unknown metal and shaped in imitation of a snake."

Killer Frog: "They are man-eating, specially bred mutants" created by (per Supplement II: Blackmoor) "a 'religious' order...[which] delved into the forbidden areas of study and determined that animals have more potential to populate the world than man, who was, after all, a biological abomination which would ultimately threaten the existence of all life....Combining the natural animals available with each other through the use of biological mutations and methods discovered in old manuscripts the Brothers began developing the killer frogs of the swamp."

Lava Children: "They are the unnatural offspring of a union between spirits of earth and fire."

Magnesium Spirit:
"It is believed that only three or four of these creatures exist, having been summoned originally to the Prime Material Plane, and stranded there, by an evil magic-user who died as a result of the strain of the summoning."

Minimal: "They were (and possibly are yet) created by means of spells similar to those that were so successful in creating giant reptiles, insects, amphibians and the like." (!)

Monsters of Palladium Fantasy: Even among high fantasy worlds, Palladium is unusually crowded with things born of insane tinkering, reckless summonings, and long forgotten curses. The ass-headed, peacock-tailed adram is probably "the result of some ancient, misbegotten enchantment," and the bearmen of the north of "some magical experiment gone awry." The three-headed beast dragon is thought to have been conjured to fight for one side or the other in the dwarf/elf wars, though "[n]either elf nor dwarf has ever taken credit." We've barely started the alphabet yet.

The harpies, rumor has it, were unleashed by the tantrum of a crabby high priest and his petulant deity. The loogaroo might be accursed witches. The immortal scarecrows were "originally created two hundred years ago by an insane diabolist/alchemist.... Hundreds were created as an army before the madman was slain." 

Also thought to be spawned by the conjury, perverse husbandry, or summoning of wizards, diabolists, alchemists, et alia: black jelly and green mold, the chimera, the pegasus and the peryton, the lizardoid eandroths, the grotesque maxpary, the sundevils, and the fell Worms of Taut.

Mud-Man: "Mud-men are formed in pools of mud where enchanted waters (even mildly enchanted ones, such as a stream eroding a magical structure) collect and evaporate and concentrate the dweomer." Hmmm, concentrated dweomer. Like, if the enchanted pond or whatever dries up could you glean dweomer like salt crystals?

Owlbear: "The horrible owlbear is probably the result of genetic experimentation by some insane wizard."

Peryton: "[L]ikely the result of the same type of experimentation as brought about the owlbear."

Quickling: "These small, slender, extremely fast-moving creatures are said to be a race of brownies who dabbled in magic and mysteries better left alone. Thus, legend relates, the little folk were changed into evil creatures of great maliciousness..."

Quickwood (Spy Tree): "It is said that the quickwood grows only through the magical offices of some great wizard (or possibly druid) who planted a mandragora root after ensorcelling it with mighty spells. Others claim that these weird trees are a natural progression of vegetable life towards a state equivalent to man's."

Retriever: "Retrievers are constructed by Demogorgon in his laboratories in the Abyss..."

Sahuagin: "The exact origin of the sahuagin is unknown. It is suggested that they were created from a nation of particularly evil humans by the most powerful of lawful evil gods in order to preserve them when the deluge came upon the earth. The tritons, however, are purported to have stated that sahuagin are distantly related to the sea elves, claiming that the drow spawned the sahuagin."

Shade: "All knowledgeable authorities agree that shades are, or were, normal humans who through arcane magic or dark sciences have traded their souls or spirits for the essence of shadowstuff....The method of transmuting from living being to unliving shade life has been lost."

Shock Bones (Arduin): "These are the practical joke of the mad techno 'Dirty Harry' and have fooled several very smug clerics."

Skeleton Warrior: "It is said that the skeleton warriors were forced into their lich-like state ages ago by a powerful and evil demi-god who trapped each of their souls in a golden circlet."

Sons of Kyuss: "Kyuss was an evil high priest, creating the first of these creatures under instruction from an evil deity. Since then the 'sons' have increased considerably in numbers."

Spirit Troll: "This odious creature is the product of perverted magical inter-breeding of trolls and invisible stalkers, thought the secret of its creation is lost and only thirty or so of these creatures are known to exist."

Stegocentipede: "It is probable that stegocentipedes developed on some far removed parallel world or were the creation of some insane genetic manipulator."

Teleport-Rose (Arduin): "A magikal creation usually conjured by a magician for a special reason."

Thoul (Rules Compendium): "A thoul is a magical combination of a ghoul, a hobgoblin, and a troll."

Vision: "Misguided research by a high-level illusionist (which led quickly to his death) created the visions summoned beings which appear as shadows."

Wizards of Mystara (Rules Compendium): Upon reaching name level, an independent magic-user "may build or seize a tower....After the magic-user moves into his tower, he may choose to build a dungeon beneath or near it....If, once one or more levels of the dungeon are completed, the wizard leaves an unguarded opening into the dungeon, monsters will be attracted and will build lairs." Perfect.

http://gunshowcomic.com/30















(All quotations from the AD&D Monster Manual, Fiend Folio, and Monster Manual II, the Arduin Grimoires Volumes 1 and 2, Palladium Fantasy's Monsters & Animals and the Rules Compendium. Achaierai by Russ Nicholson, Iron Cobra by Alan Hunter, both colored by Max the Younger. The Wizard's Shotgun by K.C. Green.)

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Hear This: Wizards! Witch Cults! Spell casters! Always conjuring the wrong sort of wildlife.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Rumor Has It That The Truth is Hidden

Or, Against Certainty

I like it when monster books include rumors and wild speculations about the origins, powers and goals of monsters. There's certainly room for a bit of Greenwoodesque cryptozoological minutia, but with too much explanation I think you end up losing some of the essential weirdness of a world full of monsters. Not everything about a monster needs to be known! Suggestingalongside a monster's statistics, description, detailed summaries of its arms and armor, its alliances and hatreds, its favorite foods, etc.that some of what's believed about it might merely be conjecture or legendry gives a monster life beyond the text itself.

Aboleth: "There are reports of huge underwater cities built by the aboleths and those they enslaved. But these reports, along with the stories of their vast stores of knowledge, have never been proven."

Death Dog: "These vicious hounds...are said to be the descendents of Cerberus; their loud penetrating double bark tends to lend support to this theory." Uhhm...if you say so my dude. I mean, doesn't a double bark just prove they have two heads?

Derro: "[T]hey venture out upon the surface of the earth at night through secret shaft openings to steal and kidnap humans for slaves. Rumor says that some humans are actually eaten as well....The derroes are said to have a major stronghold somewhere deep beneath the ground, and there their savants plot and scheme to devastate the upper world and enslave all mankind." These rumors were conclusively proven by Richard Sharpe Shaver, but he, like the Flat Earthers and Room 237ers after him, has gone sadly unheeded.

Elementals: "On the elemental plane of earth there exists a boss rumored to be of astounding size." "The ruler of all fire elementals is reported to be known as the tyrant." "It is possible that [the water elementals] are ruled by a god-like king." That the air elementals have a queen who is "both powerful and has certain magical abilities" does not, according to the text, seem to be in any doubt.

Eye of Fear and Flame: "It is said that the eyes of fear and flame were either created by the chaotic evil gods for the destruction of lawfuls, or by the lawful/neutral gods for their testing. The truth is hidden. It is rumoured that only about twenty of these creatures exist."

Fire Snake: "It is conjectured that fire snakes are larval salamanders."

Flying Turtles (Palladium Fantasy): "An extremely rare creature that myth says led mankind from barbarism to the beginning of civilization." Seems legit.

Frost Man: "To date, these creatures have only been encountered singly and the location of their lair, its type and their pattern of living are unknown. It is thought that there are villages of frost men, with females and children, buried in deep caves in mountains, mainly in cold regions. None have yet been able to establish the veracity of these rumours."

Guardian Familiar: "Its means of summoning, though they involve the casting of the find familiar spell, are known only to a small group of arcane magicians (and those few who they train in their specialist art) and are believed to involve bargaining with the denizens of the Outer Planes on which the guardian familiars dwell."

Harpy (Palladium Fantasy): "Although no religion admits to it, it's suspected that the harpies were the creation of one of the gods. Legend has it that a high priest, vexed at a petty crime, called down a great curse. The god responded, irritated and vengeful, with a plague of harpies....There is a second part of the legend that says when the high priest is destroyed, the harpies will be banished. However, the unknown cleric would have to be pretty old since harpies have been known for hundreds of years."

Kappa (Palladium Fantasy): "These malicious little creatures were once believed to be water sprites, but it is now known to be a strange, semiaquatic race said to be older than elves." From legend to fact to speculation in one world-building sentence. Only a nominal similarity to the kappa of Japanese folklore, by the way. These are little crab-hand dudes.

Kraken: "It is said that at one time these creatures were smaller, lived in shallow coastal waters, and had human worshippers who served them and brought them sacrifices."

Leprechaun: "Rumor has it leprechauns are a species of halfling with a strong strain of pixie."

Lizard Mage (Palladium Fantasy): "Rumor has it that the lizard mages were among the first rulers of the Palladium World....A separate claim has it that they created the race of elves! Certain cults actually take this nonsense seriously."

Minotaur (Palladium Fantasy): "The minotaurs were probably wandering vegetarians at one point. Large fields of bones in the Baalgor Wasteland testify to some concentrated effort to wipe them out." Driven into mazes and dungeons by range wars and overgrazing?

Pech: "No one knows what the pech actually are, or whether they are from the Prime Material or Earth Planes."

Quaggoth: "Little is known of these great white shaggy bipeds. Some say they once formed a warlike cannibal race their aggressiveness is unquestioned."

Sea Serpent (Palladium Fantasy): "Folklore says that the dark forces that rule the Land of the Damned nurture and breed sea serpents to guard its northern coasts."

Shocker: "It is quite clear that this creature does not have its origin on the Prime Material Plane, though its purpose in visiting that plane has not been divined; some say it is from the Negative Material Plane while others postulate the existence of an Electromagnetic Material Plane coterminous with all three Material Planes and the Elemental Plane."

Spriggan (Palladium Fantasy): "Their apparent mission in life is to erect large slabs of stone in a multitude of circular patterns....Why they build these pillars and stone-henge like circles is a mystery even to the Spriggans, who do what they do 'because!'"

Sussurus: "The sussurus is believed to have a life-span of over 1,000 years."

Triton: "Tritons are rumored to be creatures from the elemental plane of water which have been planted on the material plane for some purpose presently unknown to men."

Whale, Narwhal (Rules Compendium): "It is rumored that their horns vibrate in the presence of evil."

Displacer Beast (Rules Compendium): "It is suspected that displacer beasts and blink dogs both come from some faraway plane of existence, and are at war with one another throughout the dimensions." What.
A multitude of dimensions, entire universes...mere backdrop for an episode of Wild Kingdom.

(All quotations from the AD&D Monster Manual, Fiend Folio, and Monster Manual II, Palladium Fantasy's Monsters & Animals and the Rules Compendium. Derro by Jim Holloway, colored by Max the Younger; Lizard Mage by Kevin Siembieda; Blink Dogs at a kill by David A. Trampier.)

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Hear This: Oh, you heard a rumor disco died? Nah son, disco is eternal.