Tales From God City

After a good six-seven month run I just ended my online Encounter Critical game, God City Sandbox. Play by post games are fueled by enthusiasm and attention, and the game seems to have run out of steam the last few weeks. With a couple players incommunicado my own enthusiasm sorta fizzled too, and I let the game drift off into the phasic sunset. So it goes.

Don't worry, I'm not gonna get all weepy. I had a damn good time while it lasted! Here are my favorite bits:

• At the very start of things the players decide to grab a bite at Rollo's burger joint. Now, one of the players had actually heard a rumor that a bunch of people had gotten sick eating at Rollo's...but for some reason never mentioned this to his pals. Sure enough, they ate the mystery meat and fell victim to the Wandering Upchuck Table.
• A bit later the party need some info from someone they knew only as "Darryl's HAWT Mom." So they get Darryl on the line, who turns out to be a lisping teenage lizard hybrid (picture a cross between Milhaus and a sleestak). One of the players decides to blow smoke up the poor kid's hinder, pretending to have news of his long lost father. That ended with Darryl in tears, which did not amuse Darryl's Mom even slightly. Darryl's HAWT Mom, who turned out to be a Huge Ancient Wyrmic Tyrannosaur. Much grovelling at the foot of a half-dragon T-Rex ensued.
• They end up going to a giant battle royale. I asked the players for pre-fight training montages, and they came up with these. Awesome!
• They were supposed to watch over Darryl at the Brawl. Darryl, of course, was the original pipsqueak, and got choked out in about 30 seconds flat. Some goblin medics try to load him onto a crane with the other wounded, and a couple players flip. out. The pioneer Buck Pulsar jumps on the dipper bucket as it lifts off, and despite the strict rules against using magic in the arena the warlock Quazarn fires off his spell Troublesome Toy, which turns the whole crane arm into silly putty.
• When the cannibal goon squad sent to catch the warlock goes berserk, the party's frankenstein warrior Creature rips off one goon's arm and beats another one to death with it. Later in the Brawl, Creature's player and I had the following exchange:

  PC: Creature spews hot coffee in the face of the giant.
  Me: By spew d'you mean spitting coffee in his face? Cos if it's hot enough to scald his eyes it's hot enough to burn yo tongue...
  PC: Yes, I mean summon the coffee within me that I just drank, up my esophagus and out my mouth. My thinking is that while it may be scalding to a giant's eyeballs, it might just be a nice warm drink to the digestive system of a Frankenstein.
  Me: ....
  

• The hobling criminal, Hobson, spent a good part of the Brawl trying to rob lockers and using his hologram cloak to masquerade as a police officer in order to bamboozle the head of arena security. Eventually Chief Tallbard had Hobson and Quazarn cornered, but the hobling shot the Chief in the leg with a crossbow -- the only time he rolled an attack the whole game too!
• Despite beating up on klengons, wookies, and some elf wrestlers, the PCs seemed totally intimidated by a mystical hobling-vulkin crossbreed (a vobling, natch) who never even stood up the whole time they talked to him. Goons and greasers they could deal with, but a lounging hippy who talked in song lyrics and gibberish mantras had 'em spooked!
• The opposition got tougher the longer the Brawl went on, but the party held together until they faced Aarn, Son of Aarn and Olley, Cousin of Aarn, Son of Aarn. Aarn went down pretty quickly, but Olley just hung on and on till the last standing PCs finally took the retreat chutes out of the Brawl...
  

In retrospect the I let the Brawl drag on too long. It could've been done in a single session face to face, but it was probably too much of a grind for online. I made it clear from the start that they could quit the Brawl at any time, but I could have reminded them here and there as things wore on. In any case, I loved running for all of the players who visited my version of Vanth. Hope they had as much fun as I did!

SEE ALSO: All of the play threads are archived at the God City Sandbox blog, for any as like to read game logs.

Alas, Poor Wiskbat

The Wilderlands OD&D PbP I've been playing came to an abrupt end this week. While I'm disappointed, the DM's reasons for shutting down the game are entirely unassailable. If he starts the game anew I'll sign up but quick.

In the meantime, here's my first ever OD&D character, Wiskbat Tinker, half goat-footed Irish Clurichaun, half itinerant peddler out of Sholem Aleichem. Not sure where I got the idea to mix in Yiddish slang and proverbs with his dialog, but it sure made him fun to play.


Wiskbat is about 4 1/2 feet tall, with a wild mane of hair and bristly sideburns held down by a grubby cloth hat. A pair of hobnail boots conceal his hooves. His grin is usually brown with tobacco juice; he carries a pipe but always seems to misplace his tapers, so he just chews the leaf. His personal habits are slovenly and his gear generally poorly kept, though his blades are sharp. His fellow elves oft said of him, pinching their noses, "There's an apt rhyme for young Tinker, and it sure ain't thinker."

He holds to no gods, but is not uncommon found on his knees in the gutter after after a night's debauch. Whether this can be called a form of prayer is disputable.

MP3: Klezmatics, Mizmor Shir Lehanef (Compact Disc - Download)
AKA "Reefer Song." I feel certain Wiskbat would approve.

Wandering Upchuck Table

Or, What Happens If You Eat the Tainted Meat?

A chart used in my Encounter Critical Play-by-Post game, God City Sandbox.

3d6

3. Mutation, permanent. Use EC chart or variant

4. Madness, permanent. Roll on EC Psychic & Magic Diseases/Curses chart

5. Dreadful daymares. Incapacitated and raving for 2-8 rounds

6. Mutation, temporary. 24 hours less ADA score

7. Madness, temporary. As AD&D confusion spell for 1-6 rounds

8. Skin turns random color. Roll d8 on ROYGBIVX. X=roll twice and combine. Lasts 20 days less ADA score

9. Hallucinatory projections. Stars, birds, skulls, punctuation marks, etc appear to orbit victims head for 2-8 rounds. Vigorous head shaking or a slap in the face will dispel.

10. Tummy ache. No further effect.

11. Allergic reaction. 1. Hives 2. Rash 3. Sweating 4. Narcolepsy 5. Chilblains 6. Double vision 7. Giggling 8. Boogie fever

12. Convulsive heaves. 1 hp damage, saving throw to avoid fainting

13. Debilitating hiccups. -5% to all ability chances for 1-6 hours. Creative hiccup remedies may cure at JM's discretion

14. Severe halitosis, 5' radius. 10% penalty to all LEA abilities for 2-12 hours. Basic dental hygiene counters this effect

15. Sudden growth of chest hair. Permanent, subject to depilatories. Roll basic ADA roll for chance of 1-6% addition to Consume Alien Food chances

16. Insane, ravenous hunger for favorite food. Acquiring it becomes the victim's monomaniacal passion, overriding all other concerns

17. Projectile barf. Literally; roll 3-30 on ranged weapon chart to determine range and damage. Roll ADA x2 on % or fire uncontrollably. D4 ammo, must be used up within a day.

18. Upchuck of Luck or Suck. Roll on AD&D Wand of Wonder chart

MP3: Jack Walrath - Meat! (Out of Print - Hella expensive used compact Disc)