My Brain Hurts A Lot

So, I've been listening mostly to Bowie while drawing dungeon maps this week. This morning I got to wondering if I shouldn't throw a magician called Niddala Zane in there or something. Idly pondering the words "Ziggy Stardust...."




















...led me to think about Ziggy....




















...and Zardoz...




















...which is what led to this:



MP3: The Moog Cookbook, Ziggy Stardust (Compact Disc - Download)

Songcatching: Easter Thoughts

I don't celebrate Easter. My wife and I aren't churchgoers, and we don't have any family in town, so it's a quiet Sunday like most. In a few minutes I'll call my folks and cook up some turkey & chorizo picadillo, and later on I'll head out for the weekly D&D game.

But between baskets of candy and egg hunts on the news one can't help noticing it's Easter weekend, and at the gym this morning I got to thinking about two songs with Easter themes.

The first is Agalloch's "Kneel to the Cross," a cover of an anti-Christian screed by pagan neo-folkers Sol Invictus. I haven't much sympathy for the song's point of view: I'm no expert in Nietzsche, but I'm pretty sure this is what he smells like packed into a bong and passed around the dorm room. The one line that pricks up my ears is "It's love your neighbor and rattle your saber," which neatly sums up how I feel when a certain sort of believer offers fellowship with one hand while waving a hellfire brand with the other.

What keeps me coming back to the song is the chant at the beginning and end, "Summer is a-coming in, arise, arise." I have no idea how deep the fellows in Agalloch meant that allusion to be. Quite probably they go no further back than Wicker Man (spoiler alert -- 35 year old film or not it's worth seeing fresh). But beyond that stretches hundreds of years of folk song in British Isles and the Americas, both sacred and secular, Christian and pagan. It's both "Perspice Christicola" and "Sumer is Icumen In."

So while the branch may bitter the song has deep roots, whether its planters know or not. And for my part I am ready for summer to arise, to whistle up spring from deep roots and send it out to green the grass and bud the trees.

The other song could hardly be less like Agalloch's solemn anti-hymn, though it is irreverent in its own way. In addition to colored eggs and fluffy bunnies Easter weekend is the time for an annual viewing of The Ten Commandments in our household and millions of others in the US. Judging from the song "Charlton Heston" Cecil B DeMille's epic reached a few homes in Ireland and England as well.

I'd hardly knock The Ten Commandments. It's got drama, intrigue, vistas of sweeping grandeur, visions of ghostly green horror. I'm not unmoved by Yul Brynner's hard-hearted scheming and envy, nor by Charlton Heston's manly reverence and woolly white beard-wig. But mostly I like the outrageously vampy way Anne Baxter pants "Moses" whenever she and Charlton are alone. Consequently I don't have the patience for a full viewing, but I can always spare three and a half minutes for Stump's clever gloss on the movie, corny jokes and all: "Boils the size of 50p / Lights! Camel! Action! / Bushes that refuse to burn / See these sandals hardly worn / Raining blood and raining bread / The night we painted Egypt red."

May Easter and spring bring joy.

MP3: Agalloch, Kneel to the Cross (from the out of print EP Of Stone, Wind & Pillor. Agalloch's other records are available on compact disc and download)

MP3: Stump, Charlton Heston (Compact Disc - Download)

Summon Godzilla!

Here's a chart for Encounter Critical. Sufficient unto the day is the folly thereof.

If a Warlock or Mad Scientist is exceptionally successful when using the Conjure ability the following chart may be consulted. Note that Conjure only summons the creature or creatures. The spell Demon Master or the Monster Friend, Machine Friend or Seduction abilities may be required to control the summoned being(s).

1. 3-12 Blink Beast assassins (72% Sneak Attack, Murder chances per 4th level Criminal)
2. 1-2 Giant Robots (as Magic Statues of triple size and strength, i.e. 90-360 hp and 9-54 damage)
3. 1 Demon Magistrate and 1-4 Infernal Ape Attorneys
4. 1 Dragon of Fire
5. 3-30 Phantasmatic Battle Spheres
6. 3-18 Succubi accompanied by 1 exceptionally grouchy Gjenie eunuch
7. 2-20 Tyrannosaurus rexes
8. 1-3 Vorvons or Vampires (Vorvons 40% likely to have Thought Eater or Intellect Devourer pets. Vampires have Phasic Wolves, Skeleton Bats or Renfield Servitors 66% of the time.)
9. 7-12 Whirling Dervishes (an EC Dervish has only 2-16 hp and strikes for a mere 1-4 damage. But he attacks 1-20 times per round with a base 100% chance to hit! I envision a pack of speedfreak Mevlevis spinning at Tasmanian Devil velocities. Per the rulebook, 25% chance to be armed with grenades.)
10. 1 Godzilla

Inspired by Jeff Rients.

SEE ALSO: Discovered on the Phantasm website, further evidence of my theory that Don Coscarelli plays Encounter Critical: the Regman Quad-Barrel Dwarfcutter. The gun's going onto my EC weapons chart and the name's going into my NPC rogues gallery.

MP3: Sparks - Eaten By the Monster of Love (Compact Disc - Download)

Thirty Wizards of Wohoon

1. The Abominable Anton Phraint
2. Aname Rebus, lexicomancer, cabalist and dungeon cartographer.
3. Armored-In-Teeth, Papa Shark's horse, sea dwarf houngan.
4. Black Jenkin, Eater of Cats, a goblin fevercloak.
5. The Blue Witch, Arfuun of the Husk
6. Brindle the Skiver, were-rat curio merchant and unabashed recruiter for the lycanthropic lifestyle.
7. Doctor Optogon (Uncle Spider, Old Twelve-Eyes), the beholder librarian of deChirico. Flightless but quite mobile in his arcano-mechanical spider harness.
8. Elruss Wu Jinn (Old Dirty Bastard), madman, mushroom eater, master of the 36 Hexagrams.
9. Falash the Leech, a healer, of sorts.
10. Geenya Dare, the Child Lich of Roonok.
11. Gusten Cipher, a moleman monster-builder specialized in flesh golems.
12. Idal Rodavlas, Archaeo-mnemo-dweomerist.
13. Iovolovoi, Mirror of Dawn, Fulcrum of Noonday, Warder of Dusk, high priest of a sun god chained to a pillar in the desert.
14. Ishkish the Cutter
15. Kibreel Shellback, lizard-man witch doctor of Ten Tree Fen and Binyah Sump.
16. Laughing Margett, druidess and blood-drinker, whose mirth bares a mouthful of thorns
17. Mamsy Illmazer, Mother Ulcer, goblin clanmother and fevercloak.
18. Moon Mad, the Voice of Bronze, a collective mind that animates a score of living bronze statues scattered across Wohoon.
19. The Protean, a colossal mass of seething sentient mud, crackling with radiation and insane with the magic of the scores of wizards it has enveloped.
20. Ooloosk the Whisperer
21. Orvix Alt, a moleman monster-builder specialized in gargantua.
22. Otsana Muraz, enchantress and bandit queen, leading her charmed bravos against slavers and merchants alike.
23. Shining Obwoon, a princeling of the elves, grown so fat with sweetmeats and nectar he can no longer stand.
24. Suling, Hermit of the Bamboo, a mendicant monk with a cloak of bells and a basket over his head, piping strange tunes on a reed flute.
25. Thomas Nodisen Alv, Wizard of Olmen Peak, machine-mage. "The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around;" he is rebuilding his own body for the fourth time.
26. Tolobeq the Imp, inventorist of the junk heaps of Oscura.
27. Triskelion
28. Yugnav Sety (the Sleeper, the Silent Captain), adrift on the Sea of Clocks in a rusted iron barque, dreaming a thousand-year-dream.
29. Zemyel Vetch (Wretch, Twitch), itinerant alchemist, abuser of his own wares, sometime venefice.
30. Zosimos Umon, an accident of magic, a homunculus born of a drop of a wizard's blood and the clay where the blood was spilled.

MP3: Mariee Sioux, Wizard (Compact Disc & Download)
Early version of a track from Mariee's debut album. Final version and lots more at her Myspace page.
MP3: Gianluigi Trovesi, C'era una strega, c'era una fata (Compact Disc & Download)
Once upon a time in the witch wood...

It Came from My Hi-Fi...

My Sunday soundtrack lately has been a playlist built from the killer clips featured on Monster Movie Music 1950-1969. They're like some kind of mad scientists of stereophonic sound, digging up mostly obscure old movies, chopping together scraps of score music, dialog and sound effects and resurrecting them as digital Frankenstein monsters in the World of Tomorrow, 2009.


Forced metaphors aside, check them out. If like me you grew up watching late night monster movies and Saturday afternoon Creature Features you'll have a blast browsing their archives.

MP3: Dimension X, The Martian Chronicles (CD or Download)
Noise/improv rockers Massimo Pupillo, Chris Corsano and David Chalmin travel to the Red Planet

Red Rose Around Green Briar

Late autumn I usually end up listening to a lot of English folk music, so it's been nothing but Waterson:Carthy, June Tabor, Fairport Convention and Sandy Denny all weekend. It's inspired me to put together a folklore inspired hex crawl -- nothing so grandiose as a complete setting, just a small region of dark woods and sunny glades, drowsing maidens, broken-hearted knights, goblins, giants and witches.

Rackabello and his wee doggie: Dense, gnarled forest intercut with wide footpaths. Game is plentiful here, but the giant Rackabello regards the entire region as his hunting ground, and will be hostile to any camping or hunting here. His "wee doggie," an enormous wolfhound called Greyshanks, stands a full eight feet tall at the shoulder. The pair are encountered together half the time; otherwise they wander seperately. If either does battle there is a 1 in 6 chance per round the other will come to aid his friend. If Greyshanks is slain and Rackabello survives the giant will track the killers and seek revenge if at all possible.

The Rose Knight and the Briar Knight: Light forest and park land. A flat field in the northwestern corner of the hex is sectioned off by brambly hedges into a list field. At each end of the field a rose-briar shrub is somehow grown in the shape of a weapons rack, holding lances, swords and axes. By day the Rose Knight, a Lawful Fighting man of 4th level, will be found here. He is a dark-haired young man of fair aspect, his lance garlanded and his charger draped with roses. He will gladly joust with any challengers, but he speaks only a single word: "Margay."

By night the lists are deserted and the Briar Knight roams the region. He drives before him a flock of squealing wild pigs, and himself rides a huge boar. A Chaotic Fighting Man of 6th Level, his armor and gear is wrapped with briar, and the reek of rotten apples surrounds him. He will attack intruders on sight, stampeding his swine before charging with his lance. He will not remove his helmet, but if he is slain and his visor lifted, his features are identical to the Rose Knight, but much older. He does not speak.

If either knight is slain he and all his gear with wilt and crumble into dust, but the Rose Knight will ride again at noon of the next day, and the Briar Knight at midnight.

Three Queens of Soothern: The wreck of the castle Soothern stands on an outcropping over the river bend, covered completely in thorny vines. A band of goblins dwells in the woods nearby. They are a cowardly bunch unlikely to trouble well-guarded travelers, but they are terrified of the castle, and will act to prevent it from being disturbed by any means.

The castle itself is a ruin -- in some places the vines seem to be all that keep the walls standing. The thorn wall enclosing the castle can be hacked through, but it regrows almost as quickly as it is cut. If set afire the vines will animate and attack.

If the thorns are penetrated adventurers will find the castle to be a strange and bleak place, where no truly living soul dwells. The market ground and courtyards are tableaux of bones, skeletons of men, women, children and beasts frozen in scenes of everyday life, as if they had moldered away in the middle of a May morning. The castle towers are haunted by foul undead, and the place is ruled by three sisters, hags in the guise of pretty maidens. They are lovely, but their shadows are hunched, their footprints bloody, and their sorcery wicked.

MP3: June Tabor, Fair Margaret and Sweet William (Compact Disc - Download)

MP3: Waterson:Carthy, Rackabello (Compact Disc - Download)

Weird Nightmare #8

Not that anyone but me will notice but I'm going to finish posting this mix if it takes me till next Halloween. Here's a trio of spooky jazz and doo-wop cuts, featuring two contributions from the inestimable Sun Ra and a spectral ballad from Little Jimmy Scott.


Sun Ra & His Astro Infinity Arkestra, October (Compact Disc - Download)

Jimmy Scott, Time On My Hands (Compact Disc or Box Set - Download)


The Cosmic Rays featuring Sun Ra, Dreaming (Compact Disc - Download)

Weird Nightmare: Halloween Mix #7

Hrvatski, Paint it Black (Painted Black Compact Disc - Hrvatski downloads)
One of 11 dead flowers on a Tumult Records compilation.

Weird Nightmare: Halloween Mix #6

Sometimes I like to write bad poetry:

Oh bleak branch and leaf in windy disjoinment
Sunday afternoon full of crows and disappointment
full of rattling twigs and clacking beaks
every window leaks
cold sunlight, slanting through the enjambment
a gritty balm for the wounds of the week



MP3: Tom Waits, Flash Pan Hunter/Intro & That's the Way (Compact Disc - Download)
A pair of songs from The Black Rider make the point with less fuss.

Weird Nightmare: Halloween Mix #5

Not long ago, Reis at Geek Orthodox did a post featuring the classic cartoons and illustrations of Charles Addams. Perhaps less well known is another macabre humorist, the writer and illustrator Edward Gorey.

Here are a few of his moody and mordantly funny illustrations, followed by one of his poems adapted by the eccentric cabaret act The Tiger Lillies.





MP3: Tiger Lilies, The Hipdeep Family (Compact Disc & Downloads)

WHY DID I NOT GET THE MEMO DEPT: The Tiger Lillies meet Alexander Hacke of Einsturzende Neubaten for a Lovecraft tribute? Man what?

Weird Nightmare: Halloween Mix #4

It's a bit florid, but I really love this arrangement of "Transylvanian Lullaby" from Young Frankenstein. "Haunting" is high on my list of words that should be permanently retired from music writing -- cf. "angular," "Dylanesque," and, ugh, "soundscapes" -- but is this melody, so lyrical and longing that it lures the monster from its bride-to-be, anything but?

Gil Shaham & Jonathan Feldman, A Transylvanian Rhapsody (from John Morris's Transylvanian Lullaby) (Compact Disc & Download)

Weird Nightmare: Halloween Mix #3

Masque
(5th level Illusionist spell)

Type: Enchantment
Range: 80"
Area: up to 5"x5" and see below
Duration: 1 round/level

The masque spell gives all creatures within the area of effect a grotesque, mask-like semblance, a visage of fear, rage, despair, or other strong emotions. Those who save against the spell will be shaken and unable to tell friend from foe. They will make all attacks and saves at -1, and suffer a -2 penalty to morale. Those who fail a saving throw will be overcome by the emotion depicted by their masks. Typical masks and effects include:

Contempt: scorn and loathing for all present; will refuse any parley or collaboration and seek to part with them at the earliest opportunity
Despair: crushing sadness saps will to live; -2 to saving throws and initiative rolls
Euphoria: giddy delirium overloads the senses, even pain is delightful; -2 to AC, +2 to all damage taken during the spell
Mockery: convulsive laughter; -2 to attack and damage rolls
Rage: attack a random target each round at +2 to hit and damage
Terror: panicked; as fear spell.

These effects last for the duration of the spell. Other masks such as lust, gluttony and envy are possible, according to the player's ingenuity and the DM's discretion. This spell has no effect on mindless creatures.

Masque has one significant drawback: the caster must also make a saving throw each round of the spell's duration or suffer the effect of one of the masks.

Variants: Domino allows the caster to don a mask of his choosing and cause its effects by gaze, without being subject to them himself. Bal Masque creates an illusory retinue of 2-5 ghostly images surrounding the caster, each wearing a mask and causing its effects by gaze.

MP3: Dave Douglas, Bal Masque (Compact Disc)

Weird Nightmare: Halloween Mix #1

From now till Halloween, hoping I don't run out of bandwidth on my free file host, I'll be posting one of my favorite Halloween mixtapes, Weird Nightmare. Enjoy.


Elvis Costello sings the lead track from Hal Willner's eponymous Charles Mingus tribute Weird Nightmare, which brought together Mingus's music and poetry, great players from the New York avant jazz scene, and iconoclastic composer Harry Partch's incredible hand-built instruments.

Elvis Costello et al. Weird Nightmare (Compact Disc)

Alas, Poor Wiskbat

The Wilderlands OD&D PbP I've been playing came to an abrupt end this week. While I'm disappointed, the DM's reasons for shutting down the game are entirely unassailable. If he starts the game anew I'll sign up but quick.

In the meantime, here's my first ever OD&D character, Wiskbat Tinker, half goat-footed Irish Clurichaun, half itinerant peddler out of Sholem Aleichem. Not sure where I got the idea to mix in Yiddish slang and proverbs with his dialog, but it sure made him fun to play.


Wiskbat is about 4 1/2 feet tall, with a wild mane of hair and bristly sideburns held down by a grubby cloth hat. A pair of hobnail boots conceal his hooves. His grin is usually brown with tobacco juice; he carries a pipe but always seems to misplace his tapers, so he just chews the leaf. His personal habits are slovenly and his gear generally poorly kept, though his blades are sharp. His fellow elves oft said of him, pinching their noses, "There's an apt rhyme for young Tinker, and it sure ain't thinker."

He holds to no gods, but is not uncommon found on his knees in the gutter after after a night's debauch. Whether this can be called a form of prayer is disputable.

MP3: Klezmatics, Mizmor Shir Lehanef (Compact Disc - Download)
AKA "Reefer Song." I feel certain Wiskbat would approve.

Wandering Upchuck Table

Or, What Happens If You Eat the Tainted Meat?

A chart used in my Encounter Critical Play-by-Post game, God City Sandbox.

3d6

3. Mutation, permanent. Use EC chart or variant

4. Madness, permanent. Roll on EC Psychic & Magic Diseases/Curses chart

5. Dreadful daymares. Incapacitated and raving for 2-8 rounds

6. Mutation, temporary. 24 hours less ADA score

7. Madness, temporary. As AD&D confusion spell for 1-6 rounds

8. Skin turns random color. Roll d8 on ROYGBIVX. X=roll twice and combine. Lasts 20 days less ADA score

9. Hallucinatory projections. Stars, birds, skulls, punctuation marks, etc appear to orbit victims head for 2-8 rounds. Vigorous head shaking or a slap in the face will dispel.

10. Tummy ache. No further effect.

11. Allergic reaction. 1. Hives 2. Rash 3. Sweating 4. Narcolepsy 5. Chilblains 6. Double vision 7. Giggling 8. Boogie fever

12. Convulsive heaves. 1 hp damage, saving throw to avoid fainting

13. Debilitating hiccups. -5% to all ability chances for 1-6 hours. Creative hiccup remedies may cure at JM's discretion

14. Severe halitosis, 5' radius. 10% penalty to all LEA abilities for 2-12 hours. Basic dental hygiene counters this effect

15. Sudden growth of chest hair. Permanent, subject to depilatories. Roll basic ADA roll for chance of 1-6% addition to Consume Alien Food chances

16. Insane, ravenous hunger for favorite food. Acquiring it becomes the victim's monomaniacal passion, overriding all other concerns

17. Projectile barf. Literally; roll 3-30 on ranged weapon chart to determine range and damage. Roll ADA x2 on % or fire uncontrollably. D4 ammo, must be used up within a day.

18. Upchuck of Luck or Suck. Roll on AD&D Wand of Wonder chart

MP3: Jack Walrath - Meat! (Out of Print - Hella expensive used compact Disc)

Now We're Feeling Zombified

Another excerpt from my Encounter Critical project, Gods From Outer Space, which matches handily with Jonathan of The Core Mechanic's RPG Blog Carnival. For those wandering by who might be unfamiliar, you can find a review of the gonzo gamer's wonderland that is Encounter Critical here. Visit the game's webpage here to download the game for nil, nada, zip, zilch, zero -- that's free, dig?

Zombies of Vanth

One of the least understood races of Vanth is the zombie. Symbiotic spores from space? A black magic curse spreading across the land? Cannibal spirits in human form? Or merely victims of a severe life deficiency? The answer is unknown -- as is often the case on the planet Vanth, seekers after the truth are advised to hedge their bets and mark their answer sheet 'all of the above.'

Despite common myth, it is known that they are not undead like vampires and mummies, since strictly speaking true zombies are never alive in the first place. Their curious biology has so far been impenetrable to scientific inquiry. They do not breathe and have no pulse yet they require sustenance and are as vulnerable to magic and disease as other humanoids. They breed true among their own colonies, but have been known to mate with all of the common races of Vanth.

Most Zombies dwell in the Holdings of their Unnamed Princess, who is said to be an ancient yet ageless Warlock. Her appetites at the banquet table and in the boudoir are legendary and strange. Her Holdings are notably rich, and caravans happily brave the Goblin Hills and the Empire of Darth Viraxis to trade with the zombies. Despite the fortunes to be made in the Princess's lands, the prudent merchant is never without a steel skullcap to discourage the wilder and more ravenous of her subjects.

Known as the Burial Playground of the Eastern Shore, the green and rolling coast of the Zombie Holdings is a vast cemetery. The hillsides are kept in perfect order, a tidy necropolis of stones and monuments from every faith and kindred stretching for fifty miles or more. Folks from every corner of Vanth come here to enjoy the beaches and bury their dead.

Zombie Player Characters

Ability adjustments: -1 DEX, -2 LEA, +1 ROB, +1 STR.
In addition a zombie gains +30% to Consume Alien Food, +15% to Survival, and +5% to Psi-Resist. All true zombies have the mutation Cannibal Urges; zombie hybrids have a 50% chance of this mutation. How assiduously they resist their hunger is up to the individual but it's worth mentioning that zombies must consume raw living flesh to properly balance their diets.

In some cases a non-zombie character may be resurrected as a zombie hybrid. For instance, a character with the Zombie Gene mutation will rise as a zombie hybrid if he or she is reduced to 0 Hit Points and survives. More rarely, a zombie rebirth might occur due to curse, affliction or necromantic locales. In these circumstances the JM might require the PC to adventure for a time as a simple living dead (HP 1-12, DAM 1-4, Save 10%, low Intellect) before achieving full zombiehood.

MP3: Oingo Boingo, Dead Man's Party [Party 'til You're Dead Mix] (Compact Disc - Download)
MP3: Green Monster, Zombie Party Rock (Myspace)

Fight On Outtake: Omeneiros Goblins

I considered writing this up for the short article I wrote for Fight On #2, but it's so strongly influenced by Julian May's Saga of Pliocene Exile that I didn't feel right publishing it under my own name. Nonetheless, what with all the goblin talk recently from Noisms and Ripper X, I thought I'd type up a variation of my own.

Omeneiros Goblins

Though they are no stronger on average than ordinary goblins, omeneiros clans are usually found much deeper in the underworld than their kin. Hobgoblins shun them and even bugbears give them wide berth. Though they can be fierce fighters, omeneiros goblins defend their warrens mainly through cunning, craft and illusion. Shifting walls, strangely angled rooms and tricks of perspective distort distance and scale in their maze like lairs. A dwarf's knowledge of stonework is of use only 1 chance in 6 in these surroundings, and an elf is no better than the other races at detecting an omeneiros secret door.

Even more deadly to those who confront them is the omeneiros goblins' innate skill with illusion and fear magic. Intruders in the goblins' warrens must save vs. spells once per hour or be subject to disturbing waking nightmares -- half-seen visions and whispering voices which cause penalties to hit, damage and morale (as a curse spell). Furthermore, a group of seven or more omeneiros goblins radiates a panicking aura akin to a confusion spell: each round their foes must save or (2d6) 2-5 flee for one round; 6-8 do nothing, cowering in fear; or 9-12 attack the nearest creature, whether friend or foe.

Omeneiros goblin clans are organized along lines similar to their lesser kindred, with stronger subchiefs and guards according to their numbers. Larger groups are led by chieftains or clanmothers who cast spells as magic-users of up to 7th level in ability. Chieftains, clanmothers and the strongest warriors will be Fevercloaks, who go to battle girded with horrific illusionary bodies. Each takes on a unique visage -- serpentine spiders, huge jewelled scorpions, flayed ogres and grotesquely mutated goblin forms have all been observed. Fevercloaks attack as 3-6 HD monsters, doing damage by weapon type, though to all appearances they attack with the claws, fangs or stingers of their chosen form.

Fevercloaked Omeneiros clanmother

Those who behold a Fevercloak in its nightmare form must save vs. spells or be stricken with fear. Creatures under 2 HD will flee for 2-8 rounds, and be shaken even on a successful save, taking a -1 penalty to attacks and damage; those of more than 2 HD will be shaken only on a failed save (cumulative with the waking nightmare effect described above). If a Fevercloak hits with a natural 20 its foe must save vs. death magic or collapse in terrified paralysis, apparently dead as far as the victim's companions can tell.

When slain a Fevercloak reverts to its normal goblin form. In addition, they appear in their normal forms when viewed in a mirror. This may give a smart party the idea of attempting disbelief if confronted by another of its ilk. While the illusionary form will persist, disbelief will allow an additional save against the Fevercloak's fear effects.

Yagatz Moon-Eyes, sample Fevercloak: AC 5 (chainmail), HD 4, hp 24, MV 60' (20'), #AT 2, D 1-6/1-6 (2 short swords), Save M-U 4, ML 9.

In Cloaked form Moon-Eyes is a spindly horror, a shriveled goblin torso crawling on elongated spiderlike legs and arms. A drooling toothless mouth mumbles obscene limericks as he scuttles into battle. Huge cloudy eyes stare from a shrunken and malformed skull, and a pair of slashing chitinous mandibles thrust forth from enormously distended nostrils.

MP3: Leviathan, Vexed & Vomit-Hexed (Compact Disc, search "Tentacles of Whorror" - Download)
"Fear steals a voice / The price paid for dreaming / This is the cloud that lumbers across vision / A canopy of paranoia threatening light at its sting / Visions of existence appear and recede".

Warlock Mimes: BHMK excerpt

Silent Killers

Tall and long-limbed, the warlock mimes are slender humanoids of unknown species and origin. They dress in close fitting white and black striped clothing. Like all members of the Black Hole Metal Kult their faces are white and etched with black runes and symbols, but in the case of the mimes this is not corpespaint but their natural complexion. They never speak, but their faces are incredibly expressive and they move with exaggerated yet fluid gestures. Their eyes, however, are blank and untouched by emotion.

The mimes are a mystery even to the leaders of the Kult, who rely on their mystical abilities but do not fully trust them. One is male, the other female. The other kultists speculate they are brother and sister, or lovers, or both, but none know for sure. One thing that is certain is the sadistic enthusiasm with which the mimes participate in kultic rites.

As noted, the warlock mimes never speak or vocalize in any way -- indeed they make hardly a sound at all, moving in near complete silence at all times. Their spells and magic are worked using somatic gestures only (The unabashed JM is encouraged to act this out, and might even consider charades if an attempt to parley is made).

Ximox, the male, knows the spells Fire Blast, Trapped in a Box (victim is trapped in an airless, slowly shrinking cube), and Howling Wind (blast of wind impedes movement). Xomix, the female, knows Spectral Body, Masque of the Mummen (mask projects incapacitating emotion such as maniacal laughter or sniveling terror against one foe), and Mocking Mirror (imitation of one foe's actions is so annoying and distracting that it causes a penalty to all attacks, skills, and saves).



The Warlock Cafe

MP3: Varis, Roussin, Torchinsky, & Mahieux, Reve Bohemien (Compact Disc)

This room is furnished in the style of a charming streetside cafe, with a cobbled floor and tables and chairs to seat up to ten people. Sunbeetles in glass jars give the room a sunny afternoon glow. A vase of cut flowers stands on each table, and potted ferns and ficus trees add a touch of greenery. A low raised stage takes up the eastern third of the room. A concertina rests there on a stool. At any given time there will be from 2-7 people here, seeming at first glance to be having a lovely time.

A closer look will show that everything about the room is a horrid lie. The cracks between the cobblestones are stained with gore, and the no amount of cut flowers can completely cover the stink of old blood and filth. The cafe guests are here for the depraved sport of the warlock mimes, who amuse themselves by subjecting their captives to torture and pantomime (which are not, of course, mutually exclusive). The food and drink is drugged to make the captives docile and prone to suggestion. Though they remain conscious of their actions the guests are compelled to do whatever they are asked. Their eyes are glassy, and their feet are nailed to the floor.

After the warlocks perform for them, the captives are sacrificed to the space gods.

The warlock mimes will be found here 30% of the time. They will attempt to hypnotize and interrogate anyone unknown to them using Ensorcel and Read Minds. Those found to be enemies will be attacked using spells. Note that a party may not even be aware of any danger until the mimes strike. Their spellcasting blends seemlessly with their pantomime, appearing to be no more threatening than the attentions of any normal street performer.

MP3: Dead Raven Choir, The Silence (Compact Disc: search 'Selenoclast Wolves')

WoAdWriMo Update: Slacker

I gotta confession. Almost from the moment I decided to do something for World Adventure Writing Month I've been stricken with Homework Syndrome: it's this dumb thing where something fun seems like homework as soon as there's even a semi-formal commitment involved.

For example: reading the NYT Book Reviews online or in the paper? Fun and interesting! But subscribing to a daily email update? Two or three of those pile up in my inbox and they become a chore. And so it is with my adventure. Brainstorming encounters and critters and NPCs? Love that pschitt! Writing it all down on like paper or a computer? Shoot, I'll start tomorrow. The Tour de France just started  is in the Pyrennes  is in the Alps.

Boiling it down I guess I'm sort of a lazy dilly-dallier. In the words of Professor Impossible I'm "a daydreamer. A sassmouth! And, not infrequently, a bit of a gigglepuss." So I'm behind. But it's not like I've done nothing. I've got a page of new monsters roughed out and a draft of the first adventure of a three-parter.

And this afternoon I drew up the map for part two. Made a notebook sketch first:


And here's the final map, finished save for shading and numbering. I think it turned out pretty good.


Hey presto, getting the map down on paper has me revved up to start keying it, so here's to progress!

MP3: Meads of Asphodel, Sluts of the Netherworld (Compact Disc)
Here's a song that goes out to Rondo's Graveyard Tramps, who make an appearance on this level.

Creeping Crud

Something has gone terribly wrong with my submission to Rondo's Fugly Dice competition, and I now fear I may be responsible for an outbreak of...

The Creeping Crud

Numbers 1 swarm
# ATT 1
ATT % melee 40
Damage 1-10 pt
Hit Points 1-100
Save 50%
Edible 5%
% Lurk 06%
$ Value 42 per seed
Special pratfalls, itchiness & dolor

Creeping Crud is a fast spreading swarm organism born from pentagonal trapezohedronic seeds from space. It is the scourge of the Amalgamated Postal Corps throughout Vanth. The seeds are highly sought after by collectors of gewgaws as well as the Sect of The Ten Faced God, who often trade them through the mail. Unless the correct phasic precautions are taken when the seeds are transported an outbreak of Creeping Crud swarms may occur (An example of poor packaging would be wrapping a seed in a few squares of TP and hoping for the best).

A Creeping Crud swarm attacks by rolling on the floor underfoot, waiting for the unwary to slip and fall (sneak attack 77%). When this happens they engulf the victim and attack with painful stings. The sting causes an itchy and depressing rash over d% of the victims body (-10% ATT values, -20% Seduce, victim will feel a crushing sense of disappointment about how his or her life turned out, which may explain why postal workers can be so surly) and unless a successful roll of Consume Alien Food is made the victim will produce a new Creeping Crud seed in 2-20 days in a manner left to the reader's imagination.

MP3s: Memphis Jug Band (CD or Download)
* Gator Wobble
* Fourth Street Mess Around
Got nothing to do with the above, but sure do make me feel better.